


At What Cost

by annie_in_a_trench_coat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Civil War Team Captain America, F/M, Multi, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22638508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annie_in_a_trench_coat/pseuds/annie_in_a_trench_coat
Summary: Steve Rogers x Reader Book; Takes place after Marvel's Captain America Civil War. (Written in 2016 for Wattpad)
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Reader, Tony Stark/Reader
Kudos: 10





	1. It's Over

Y/n sat on the bright white couch in the center of Tony's large living room. The TV was on but she could barely hear it. All sound was lost to her as she sat enveloped in her thoughts. The past few days had been hell.

To put it simply, after the bombing in Nigeria everything had gone to shit. When that contract was brought in to their home, everything changed. The Secretary of State had made it very clear that if some of them would choose not to sign it, they would be considered war criminals. Which to Y/n seemed like a bit much, but then again she did see the point that he was making.

She knew as soon as Steve sat down that he was going to have nothing to do with this agreement. She also knew that Tony was going to blindly agree, due to the emotional state he was in. He had been swayed to believe that this was the right choice, no matter what argument Steve or anyone else made. Both of their minds were made up. And nothing would change them. 

That was what scared Y/n.

So there she sat. It had been weeks since this all began. So many had been lost, and friendships had been broken. Bonds were severed and with that came the fall of a once strong team that the world had grown to love. Y/n had wanted nothing more than to get out there and fight like everyone else, but she had been confined to the Stark home.

Unlike Wanda, whom she was imprisoned with; Y/n had no special powers. She was quite ordinary compared to the rest of the Avengers. That's why she wasn't one. Most of the time Y/n just sort of felt like their mascot. Sure she knew how to fight, but she was hardly ever given the chance to. Because she didn't have training like Nat, or powers like Thor or Wanda, she was usually kept back at the tower and put in charge of communications. She hated not being able to stand and fight with her friends, but she knew they were right. It wasn't safe for her out there.

The one thing she had always looked forward to at the end of a mission, was when Steve would get himself cleaned up and tell her how it went. She would sit next to him on the couch with a large blanket, and he would give her the play-by-play of how it went. He always tried to include her, because he truly felt she was a valuable part of the team, even if she didn't fight. She lived for those long talks with Steve. Under the blankets, nice and warm, hearing his voice and heartbeat; it was what kept her going.

They had a bond that the rest of the Avengers couldn't quite describe. They were almost always together. Y/n was one of the few people he truly trusted with his life. He had shared things with her he had never told anyone else. Y/n would never forget the night after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve had lost his home, and having nowhere else to go, decided to stay with Y/n until he could be moved. She had the spare room all set up for him, and he seemed okay. That is until later that night.

Y/n had gotten home from the store rather late, and when she called for Steve, there was no answer. She walked around the home until she found him crying on the floor in his room. His sobs rattled in his empty chest as Y/n fell beside him. She lifted his head to her lap and held his face in her hands. His eyes were red and puffy from crying nonstop, and his breaths were short and shaky.

She tried to get him to speak but he simply rolled over and buried his face in her lap. His arms wrapped around her waist as she held on tight to him. The tears fell freely from both of their eyes as they sat in the dark room pouring out the bottled up pain and grief.

"I don't want to be alive anymore...."

Those words left his moth breathlessly and shattered Y/n's heart. She squeezed her own eyes shut and took a deep breath. She had never seen him like this, but part of her knew that this was the real Steve Rogers. Not the pretty blonde that would show up at Tony's parties and smile for the cameras. This was the real him, the person he tried to hide deep down. He was hurting more than anyone ever should. He was a broken and beat up kid from Brooklyn who needed a friend.

Ever since that night Y/n had become very close with the wounded super solider. She was the one he turned to when he felt like giving up. He always came to her, and she did the same. So after the bombing when he came home looking defeated, she expected him to want to talk.

She approached him and looked him in the eyes with a soft smile. She had begun to talk but he held up his hand, cutting her off. She looked confused and slightly hurt by this, but Steve just looked down and left the room. She didn't know what to do. She was scared. And so was he.

Thru all of this craziness, this war amongst friends, Y/n had been cooped up in the New Avengers head quarters along with Wanda. That is until Clint broke Wanda out. Vision had seen the explosions from outside and had gone to go and investigate. This gave Clint enough time to sneak in and get Wanda out. When Clint shot an explosive arrow at vision the blast had knocked her unconscious. When she awoke she was alone in a broken kitchen. No Vision, no Wanda, no Clint. She knew that they were going to help Steve, and that was all she wanted to do as well, but she had been too late.

For the rest of this civil war, she had paced back and forth in the living room; waiting for someone to come and tell her what was going on. She was waiting for Steve to come home and they would sit together and he would tell her everything that had happened. From the bombing, to finding Bucky. It was all she wanted, but deep down she knew he wasn't coming home.

She was knocked free of her thoughts when the doors to her right opened. Her memories and worries mixed in her mind as a broken down Tony walked in along with a wheelchair bound Rhodey. She stood and realized that it was over. The war had ended......

But at what cost?

Tony pushed Roday inside and looked to Y/n with a sad smile. "Tony? Are you okay?" She squeaked. He walked forwards and hugged her. She stood limp in the hug, her eyes wide opened and filling with tears. The last thing she had heard was that Tony was leaving to help Steve stop some mad man who was looking for more soldiers like Bucky. She didn't understand why he was alone with just Rhodey. If they decided to help each other out, then where was Steve.

"I'm fine..." Tony finally responded. Y/n nodded and looked in back of him once he released her from the hug. Her face was pale and covered in now falling tears. Her worst nightmare was coming true. She always knew that Tony and Steve had their differences, and that they didn't get along, but she never thought they would fight like this. This was wrong. It had been since the beginning.

She took a deep breath, trying not to scream. "Tony...." She breathed. "Where is Steve?"

He hung his head and wiped away a stray tear. With a furrowed brow, he walked over to Roday's wheelchair and picked something up from behind it.

It was Steve's shield.

Y/n drew in a sharp breath upon seeing it. Her brow furrowed in confusion, while her mouth hung open in fear.

"Things didn't go as planned. Things were reveled to me....." He sighed trying to fight tears and pain from his many wounds. "Steve had been lying to me this whole damn time. He knew things Y/n. Things he didn't think he needed to share. I saw things last night that would destroy anyone. He showed his true colors once and for all, when he tried to kill me." He shook his head; he looked just as broken as he dismembered armor that sat dead in the corner of the room.

Y/n shook her head trying to ignore his words.

"Everyone ended up in prison because of what he did. He lied to everyone, and threw everything we built out the window when that fucking monster entered the picture. That beast that he replaced us all with." He shouted shaking slightly. She chanted "no" as he continued to speak poisons words about Steve. She refused to believe that he would ever do anything like this. Then she remembered something.

When Ultron was first born, when they first began to fall apart, Tony had said he didn't trust Steve because he didn't have a dark side. Steve had said well maybe he just hadn't seen it yet. Now Y/n knew what it was.

Bucky was Steve's dark side. He would do anything to protect him. Even hurting his friends, even hurting Tony. He can't risk losing him again.

Tony was still shouting about the betrayal he had just witnessed, but Y/n couldn't hear him. She fell to the ground, still holding Steve's shield. Her heart broke loud enough for anyone to hear. Her body heaved as she sobbed loudly into the dead air. Tony froze as Y/n fell onto the ground. She whispered Steve's name as she cried. Tony turned; he hadn't expected her to react this way.

He felt awful for having caused Y/n so much pain. He didn't want anyone else to feel what he was feeling. It was far too much for him, he didn't want to know what it would do to someone as fragile as Y/n. Rhodey had left a short while ago, leaving Tony leaning against his desk silently crying, and Y/n leaning her back against the couch holding Steve's shield. She sobbed and held it close to her heart, wishing it was Steve instead. This had all happened to fast. It seemed like only yesterday they were all just meeting for the first time, and now they were broken from each other.

Some in prison, some half dead trying to carry on, and some wondering how this all came to be. Y/n wondered how she could have let this happen. She didn't want to believe that this was all real.

The one person she cared about. The one person she loved. Was now gone. And she couldn't do a thing. She felt helpless as she lied on the floor clutching the only piece of Steve she had left close to her heart.


	2. I Want Him Back

It was late. Far too late for anyone to be awake, but there Y/n sat on her bed. She was looking out at the moonlit covered grass outside her window. With everything that had happened she found it very hard to sleep. When she did fall asleep, she was plagued by nightmares. She kept seeing Steve and Bucky die. She watched it over and over when ever her eyes closed. The image was burned in her brain, and she was certain she would never get it out.

Her gaze wandered from the window to something glistening in the corner of her room. Her eyes met Steve's shield just sitting there, looking as lifeless as she did. The moonlight reflected off the paint, causing it to shine. She looked to the three scratch marks that traveled down. Tony had said they were from someone called "Black Panther".

She just stared at it, unable to bare the emptiness in her chest. With a loud scream she picked up a pillow and threw it at the shield. It fell to the floor with a loud clatter, but Y/n didn't care. She hated looking at it. It just kept reminding her of what she had lost. She knew that Steve never left anywhere without his shield, so the fact that is was with her and not with him..... It was enough to fill Y/n with a blind rage. Every time she looked at the red, white, and blue paint she felt a piece of herself die. She kept seeing him holding it.

She saw him charging into battle with it on his arm. She saw him protecting her form danger with that shield. She saw him. And seeing him made her want to scream. It wasn't fair that this had happened to him. She knew everything he had been thru. This was the last thing he needed, and yet here she was sitting alone with his most prized possession. She wasn't sure if she could handle everything that was happening, this was all so much to process.

She stared at the fallen shield for a moment longer before turning her head away. She brought her knees up to her chest; the sound of her sheets ruffling filled the silent room. With a deep sigh she rested her head atop her knees and closed her eyes.

Fallen shield..... Just like the fallen soldier.....

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she sat alone, wishing this was all a dream. Why would this happen to any of them? They were all such good friends who had gone thru so much. None of them deserved to be put thru this kind of pain. The tears flowed freely as she fell to her side, gripping at the sheets on her bed. Her cries wailed out into the cold night air outside her open window. No one could hear her, and no one could save her from the darkness that she felt.

Her eyes flew open a moment later when there was a knock at the door. She sat up and grunted in response, certain it was Tony trying to get her to eat again. "What..." She rasped; her throat still raw from screaming.

"Y/n..... It's me...."

Her head shot to the door, she could see the shadow under it from someone's feet. But it wasn't Tony's voice. She knew that voice.

Steve.

Her heart was pounding and her mind was racing. Why would he come here? Was he crazy? Did he know what Tony would do? Did he even care?

She jumped up from her bed and ran to the door throwing it open. There he was.

He was in his "Captain America" suit, only he was bloodied and bruised. He smiled at her and she felt her throat grow tight. The look in his eyes said it all. He had missed her just as much as she missed him. She shook as she lifted her hand to touch his face. Her fingers danced over the strap of his helmet and made their way to his cheek. His lip was busted open and was red from dried up blood. She felt her chest shake, her body began realizing what was happening.

Before she could say his name he winced and smiled at her. She screamed as he fell to the floor, blood pooling up around him. She collapsed next to him and lifted his head into her lap. With shaking hands, she removed his helmet and looked him in the eyes.

"S-Steve...." She shuddered. He smiled at her sorrowfully before gasping. She studied his face for what she felt would be the last time. His soft blue eyes, and sandy blonde hair. The sound of his voice, and the way he smiled. All these things are what made Steve.... Steve....

She smiled at him and he laughed. Blood erupted from his mouth in violent coughs as she prayed silently that he would survive. "Steve.... Oh God.... Please don't leave me..... I need y-you..." She felt hot tears burn her eyes and winced as they began to fall. She looked up and sobbed, "Please let him live....I need him...Please...."

Steve shifted slightly; catching Y/n attention.

"Y/n...." He rasped. She nodded and stroked his face, "What is it?" She choked.

"I l-love....."

He never had time to finish. His strong body went limp in her arms. She looked down at him horrified as he released his last breath. His face went pale, but his eyes remained open. The once crystal blue orbs became cold and gray.

"S-Steve?" She whispered. Her body shook; she didn't know how to react. She looked all around, but didn't know what she was expecting to find. Her face changed as she screamed out tears. They fell and landed on his cold and dead face. She shook his head in her hands and yelled for him to wake up. He didn't respond. She didn't know what to do. Her eyes searched for something and soon landed on his shield. It was sitting upright right where she had left it. A memory of her knocking it down with a pillow came to mind.

Then she realized.....

This was a dream....

As soon as that clicked Steve began to fade away. She was left alone in a black room, with nothing to hold. She lied down and hugged herself tight.

"TONY!" She screamed into the darkness. "WAKE UP! WAKE ME UP! TONY PLEASE! I WANT TO WAKE UP! TONY!"

The next thing she knew she was being shaken violently but none other than Tony himself. He looked her in the eyes and asked her if she was alright. She looked at him thru puffy eyes; the look on his face broke her heart. "I want him back..." She breathed. Tony furrowed his brow fighting tears. He hugged her tight and let her cry in his arms.

"I want him back!" She sobbed into his chest. He looked up trying to fight back his own tears. His eyes met the glistening shield in the corner of the room. The very shield Steve had tried to kill him with. With a sob he held on to Y/n and rocked her back and forth. He didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered. All he wanted was everything to go back to the way it was. He hated being apart.

Y/n's words rang in his mind like a bell.

"I want him back..."

Tony sobbed and hugged her tight....

"Me too...."


	3. Found

The following morning....

Tony stood quietly by the coffee maker. His eyes watched intently as the brown liquid poured into his "Stark Industries" mug. The smell filled the kitchen along with the sounds of it brewing. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his thoughts. Last night was hard.

He had woken suddenly due to screams. The armors guarding his bed had switched on and stood tall, ready to fight. Tony looked to his left, half expecting to see Pepper there, but was greeted by a empty feeling in his chest when he found empty sheets. The screaming continued and he heard clear as day his name among the screams. With a look of pure fear upon his face; Tony jumped out of bed and ran down the hall yelling Y/n's name.

"Y/N!" Y/N! I'm coming!" He shouted as he entered her room. She was kicking around in her bed screaming loudly. Her hands gripped at her hair as she tried to wake herself from the nightmare. Tony jumped onto the bed and picked her up in his arms. He began to shake her as she yelled. "Y/n! It's okay! It's Tony! I'm right here!"

Her eyes flew open a moment later, the e/c clouded by the tears. She looked him in the eyes, fear rippling thru her body. The tears stared as she shook, then screamed.

"I want him back! I want h-him ba-a-a-ack...." She sobbed as Tony took a hold of her. Sh hadn't said who she wanted back, but Tony knew. It was the same person he wanted back.

Steve.

He didn't realize until just now how much he missed the super solider. Steve was one of the only pieces of his father he had left. Maybe that's why he hated him so much. Steve knew Howard better then Tony, his own son, did. That enraged him. Steve was a constant reminder that his father was never there for him. Every time he did something wonderful, it only reminded Tony how angry he was at his dad.

Tony had grown up hearing about how amazing Captain America was. Every moment of the day was filled with how no one could compare to Steve Rogers. No one would ever be as great as Steve. Tony never denied that statement; he only wanted his father to show him the same admiration. He wanted to be the apple of his father's eye. 

His greatest accomplishment.

But he knew he would always fall flat next to the Captain.

But, it was never really Steve. Steve was a good man, and friend. He always had Tony's back, even when he didn't have his own. Tony had a true friend with Steve, but he had taken it for granted. When he was shown that footage...... When he watched Steve's so called friend, choke the life out of his mother.......

Tony winced at the thought of it.

Steve was his father's greatest accomplishment. He was the greatest thing Howard had ever made. Steve was all he had left of Howard. And in some twisted way he thought if he made Steve proud, he would be making his dad proud too.

All of that was thrown aside the moment Y/n fell to the ground holing Steve's shield. He hadn't known that she cared that deeply for him. If he had.....

He sat there, with Y/n in his arms, crying along with her. He missed Steve just as much as Y/n did, and having him leave ripped him apart at the seams.

Tony's thoughts were disrupted when the coffee maker beeped at him angrily. He cleared his throat and wiped under his nose as he grabbed his mug and sipped the hot contents. His eyes flew to the doorway as the doors opened. He lowered the mug as Y/n walked thru.

She looked fine, unlike last night. Her hair was out of her face, and her upper body was covered by a deep gray sweater. It was the one Tony had given her last night.

One of Steve's.

She didn't even greet him as she walked to the fridge silently. Upon closer inspection, she didn't look as fine as she seemed. There were dark bags under her eyes, and her lips were chapped due to dehydration. Her face looked older, as if last night had caused her to age rapidly.

Tony cleared his throat once more catching Y/n's attention. She looked over at him still drinking out of the half gallon of chocolate milk. "So...." He began placing his mug down. She lowered the milk and wiped her mouth on her sleeve, "So?" She questioned softly. Tony's heart broke when he heard how raspy her voice was. "From screaming..." He thought. "How are you feeling?" He asked folding his arms.

She shrugged and sat down at the bar. He walked over and rested his arms against the counter, and placing his hand on hers. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked sincerely. She drew her hand back, "Do you?" She asked looking away. He nodded, "I'm worried about you. I need to know if you're gonna' be okay..." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Sure... Whatever... I get it..." She smiled weakly. It almost looked like it killed her to smile. Like, it was causing her pain to stretch her mouth that way.

Before Tony could say anything else his phone rang. With a sigh, and an apology, he walked off to answer it.

Y/n sat alone at the counter. She hugged the fabric of Steve's shirt around her, still wondering why she had it on. She felt silly for wearing it, but at the same time it was nice to have something of his on. She sighed as she rested her head atop the counter. She felt like crying again but her eyes wouldn't let her. It was as if she had carried herself dry. She felt sad without the tears.

Empty.

That's when something in Tony's lab beeped. Her head shot up as she looked to the source of the noise. One of the computer screens was blinking rapidly. She looked to spot Tony, but couldn't see him. She called out once and when he didn't responded she decided to check it out herself.

Her bare feet slapped against the cold tile floors as she stumbled to Tony's lab. There was paper scattered everywhere, and pieces of equipment were strewed about. She sighed as she walked over to the computer in question. She furrowed her brow as she clicked a few things. Then the true alert was revealed.

In bright bold letter were the words: SPOTTED.

A "trip wire" in an abandoned warehouse had been triggered. "Tony has cameras everywhere..." She mumbled as she clicked the alert.

Her stomach dropped to the floor as the computer ran facial recognition on two people who had entered Tony's safe house. She staggered backwards as she watched the computer flash before her. Both faces were identified as Y/n's hand went to cover her mouth.

Next to the two faces were the names Cap. Steven Grant Rogers, and Col. James Buchanan Barnes.

They had tripped the alarms last night when they entered the building, and the alert was just getting thru now. Her hands shook as she watched the footage of Steve dragging a limp Bucky into the corner of the room. She gasped as she noticed how broken they both were. Bucky's metal arm was gone, and Steve looked beat to hell. She sat down and watched as Steve removed his helmet and threw it across the room. A scream ripped thru the empty warehouse as Steve fell to his knees.

He had been defeated.

Y/n let a lone tear drip down her cheek; she hadn't cried all her tears after all.

She wiped her check clean and took a deep breath. She looked behind her to see if Tony was anywhere in sight. When she didn't spot him she ran her fingers over the keyboard and pulled of the address of the warehouse. The computer printed it out for her and she felt a small smile curl her lips for the first time since this all started. She jumped as F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice filled the room.

"Miss Y/n shouldn't we tell Mr. Stark about this? He has been looking for the captain for quite a while now...."

Y/n shook her head. "Is this all the info on where Steve was spotted?" She asked the AI. "Yes, but-", Y/n cut her off. "Delete everything on this alert. Wash it all away. Then delete the deleted files. I don't want Tony to know anything about this, okay?" The AI agreed and did as she was told juts as Tony walked in.

"Hey, Y/n? Find anything interesting on there?"

She swallowed hard. She hated having to hide something from Tony. After what happened she knew how much he hated that, but she knew she had no other choice. With a pain in her chest she replied, "I was just going to try and watch something.... Ya' know..... Take my mind off some things...." She smiled sheepishly.

"Well," Tony started, "Let's set you up with some Netflix in the living room."

She smiled at him and let him escort her out. 

In one hand she held onto the one thing that could lead her to Steve.....

And in the other.... 

She held Tony.....


	4. Sleep

The night Y/n broke down

The sound of dripping water filled the empty air as Steve struggled to get Buck thru the doors. Bucky was moaning and shaking as Steve pulled him along. "Come on Buck..." He grunted as he looked around for somewhere to place his friend. His vision was blurry, but it had been for a while, so he was used to it.

"Steve...."

The super solider stopped when he heard his name. "Yeah...." He rasped readjusting his grip on Bucky's coat. Suddenly Steve felt his friend go limp. Panic set in as he looked around franticly for a safe spot. "Bucky!" He yelled, his words slurred from crying. "Bucky! Don't do this to me! Come on! Bucky!" After each word a shaky sob left his lungs. With a sudden burst of energy, Steve pulled him to a spot between two creates. He plopped him down and crawled in front of him to check his pulse.

His gloved hands ran over Bucky's hair and skin, as Steve's face turned red from holding back sobs. He stopped for a moment and just thought about all of this. He felt rage build up inside as he ripped off his helmet and threw it across the warehouse.

A savage scream, laced with pain and sorrow, ripped from his throat as he fell to his knees. His body ached as he knelt looking at the broken down solider in front of him. How had he let it go this far? How did it all crash down so fast?

He didn't know the answer, and that killed him. He found it hard to believe that not to long ago, he was fighting with the Avengers. That they were a team. After everything he had just gone thru he wasn't sure if he would be able to carry on. He felt the need to just lay down with Bucky and sleep.

And if he didn't wake up......

Steve couldn't believe that he was this broken. Hel didn't feel like the solider everyone thought he was. He felt like the scrawny kid from Brooklyn all over again. The kid who had lost his parents and his will to live. He felt that same darkness, from all those years ago, creep back his way. He could feel it knocking on his door, asking to come in.

He sat down and leaned against the wall, the pain in his bdy screaming at him. He let it all go right there. He held one arm close to his chest, and sobbed.

Steve Rogers: Captain America, had lost.

He sat and let loose everything that had been eating away at him. Each cry faded out into the night as he closed his eyes. The world he wanted to protect, the world that he fought for, had just thrown him out on the curb. He felt the pain from his wounds mix with the pain in his heart. All together it created something that was far too much to bear.

He closed his eyes and let his mind wander. Surprisingly it fled to the one other person he had ever trusted.

Y/n.

He hadn't thought about her until now. She hadn't been there with Tony when they were fighting, so where was she?

He wondered about whether or not she was safe, and if she was how was she holding up? He felt his breaths become more relaxed as he thought about the girl back home. He realized how much he had taken her for granted. He realized how much she meant to him. He wondered if he would ever see her again.

Sleep drew near as he scooted closer to Bucky. His eyelids became heavy and he swore he saw Y/n's e/c eyes every time he closed his. Then the strangest thing happened.

He saw her.

She was walking towards him with a sad smile on her face. He felt his breath hitch in his throat as she stepped closer. She crouched down and smiled at him, gently touching his face. He felt a small smile curl his own lips as she leaned forwards. He closed his eyes as she kissed him ever so softly on the forehead. Her hand held his face as he started to lie down. His head rested on Bucky's lap as Y/n sat down beside him and stroked his hair.

"Rest now....." She said sweetly. Steve's lips parted, but before he could speak sleep had claimed him.

All of a sudden he wasn't so strong anymore. He wasn't all he had pretended to be for so long. He was a little kid lying with his best friend. His chest rose and fell shakly as he rested peacefully for the first time in years.

Steve Rogers was reborn.....

As Captain America died, and blew away in the cold night breeze......


	5. Protection

All was peaceful in the car as Y/n sat quietly in the front seat. Tony was going on about how she needed to be moved back to the compound, along with Rhodey, because it was safer. Although what Tony was saying was important, Y/n couldn't stop thinking about what she had seen on that video back at the tower. Her stomach felt hollow as she replayed the scene in her mind. The way Steve had screamed was haunting her. She had never heard someone so broken, so lost. It hurt to think about it, so she shook her head and shifted in her seat.

Tony noticed this and glanced over at her. She was staring out the window with a blank expression. He pursed his lips before sighing. With a small smile he moved his hand from the steering wheel so he could hold hers. She looked over at him and forced a smile. He kept his eyes on the road, but glanced at her frequently.

"I know that it's been hard lately, I really do. And you don't want to be brought back to where some not so nice things happened. I know the tower is your home, and the last thing you need is to be taken from your home. But it will be safer if you go back to the compound. I'm not going to be around a lot, so I need someone to care for you...."

Y/n shifted in her seat and ripped her hand free of Tony's. "For God's sake Tony! There you go again! Every time I think you understand, that you get what's going on, you pull a stunt like this! I'm a grown woman! I can take care of myself! But now you're going to have Vision babysit me?!" She turned to face him, clearly upset with the choice he had made. Tony sighed and looked over at her. He slammed his hand on the wheel before pulling into the compound driveway. The car came to a halt as Tony turned to face Y/n, his gaze ever darkening.

She had sounded just like Steve when she said that. He didn't notice until now how alike the two were. Hearing her speak that way shook him up quite a lot. He looked over at her, but all he could see was the friend he had let down. The one he drove away.

"Look, okay. This one is out of my hands. You were an Avenger Y/n. You lived with us, you helped us, and you loved as all. And we loved you, but now the Avengers are dead.

The world knows you were one of us, and you may not have super amazing abilities, but you are still a threat. Because of how much you care about us.

That's what makes you dangerous.

I've lost my whole team; I've lost my family for the love of God. I'm not going to let them take the one piece of happiness I have left.

And if that means you have to have Vision as a babysitter, then so be it. I trust you with my whole heart. It's the world I don't trust. The Avengers fell apart the day Barnes showed up... I'm not going to let you leave too."

Y/n's face grew grim. She thought back to when this all started. They were all sitting at a table watching videos of the time they had saved the world. 

No..... The times the Avengers had saved the world.... Not her....

She had never been an Avenger. She was just a distraction that they would come home to. She was never a member of the team. The only person who ever made her feel like she was worth anything was now gone, and she knew he was never coming back.

She remembered that some wanted to sign that damn document, and some didn't. It was all because of the one stack of paper that Steve, and the rest of her family, was gone. She wanted to scream, she wanted to lash out at Tony and release all the anger and pain she kept inside. But when she looked in his eyes, she couldn't do it. He looked like a lost kid who needed to be held.

No matter how angry she was, she knew that neither Tony, nor Steve, were to blame for this. They were both just as broken. This was in the hands of the Government, and Zemo.

She took a deep breath and unbuckled herself. "This was not James's doing." She spoke sternly, "The more you blame him, the less chance you have of seeing your own faults and trying to fix them. This was not your fault, and it was not Steve's. It was both of you together. You let Zemo creep in and tare you apart. You lost trust in one another......" Tony looked out the window, he was fighting tears again. Y/n opened her door and climbed out. She looked back at Tony, "All Zemo had to do was say the goddamn words."

She slammed the door and made her way to the front. She clutched her bag closer to her body as the stiff cool breeze blew thru her hair. She wiped a tear from her eyes and took a deep breath in. The air smelled of rain and pine trees. She exhaled and shook her head, the sound of Steve's scream ringing in her ears once more.

"Miss Y/n."

She looked up and was greeted by a loving gaze from Vision. "I'm so glad you arrived unharmed. I am truly sorry for what happened when Wanda-"

She placed a hand on his shoulder cutting him off. He looked at her, confused by the sudden gesture. "It's not your fault Vision. You didn't want to hurt her. I understand." He nodded at her as she walked to the door. "Will Mr. Stark be joining us?" Vision questioned as he looked to Y/n.

She looked at him sitting in the car, his head against the steering wheel. She felt sorry for him. He had been thru a lot, just like everyone else. But that didn't give him the right to act the way he had been.

She squeezed her hand tighter around the strap on her bag; a single tear falling from her right eye.

"No, I don't think he is."

She turned and walked inside; Vision close behind.

"He has a lot to think about...."


	6. Feeling

Steve felt pain shoot up his side as he sat up from his place on Bucky's lap. His hand went to grab the source of the pain and was met by dark red liquid. He sat up and looked at the wound. Right where Tony shot him. He rested the back of his head against the wall and sighed. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of his breaths, trying to clam himself.

That's when he remembered what had happened. Everything was sort of a blur, but he remembered seeing Y/n next to him as he fell asleep. He could still feel her hand running thru his hair. His eyes searched the warehouse for any sigh of the girl, but he found none. His shoulders slouched as he realized she was never there. He had dreamed it in order to calm himself down. He furrowed his brow trying to wrap his head around the fact that he had dreamed of Y/n and not of someone else.

He had never seen Y/n in that way, but at the same time he wasn't opposed to the thought. He was so caught up in being Captain America that he hadn't realized how good he had it. He had a loving family, friends, and he was serving his country the only way he knew how. He had a good life set out before him and he didn't even see it.

He longed to just go home. To walk inside the compound and see Y/n standing there waiting for him. He closed his eyes and imagined.

"You're home!" She shouted as she ran from her place next to Vision. Wanda laughed as Y/n jumped up like an excited puppy. She ran past Tony, whose arms were out, and straight to Steve. He smiled as he placed his shield down on the ground and greeted her with open arms. She jumped at him and he caught her with a laugh. She rested her head on his shoulder as he spun her around a few times. Tony made a face and walked over to Natasha, "How' bout a hug?" He asked. She pulled a gun off her thigh and he backed away slowly.

Steve rested his forehead against Y/n's and sighed. "I've missed you...." He whispered for just her to hear. She smiled and planted a quick kiss on his lips, "Me too...."

"Steve?"

Steve's eyes shot open as he heard his name being called. He looked to his right and met Bucky's gaze. A sad smile stretched across Steve's lips as he brushed the hair from his friends face. "I'm here Buck..." He spoke softly.

Bucky grunted in response before looking to his now missing arm. He looked away quickly not wanting to see the damage. Steve placed a hand on his good shoulder and squeezed lovingly. "Don't worry....We'll find a way to get it back.....We'll find a way." He looked at his friend with the most heartfelt eyes. Bucky couldn't help but smile at Steve.

"Did becoming Captain America make you all sappy?" He questioned. Steve laughed and hung his head. "No..." He breathed. "75 years alone did...." Bucky furrowed his brow. He felt horrible that he hadn't been there for Steve. He promised that he always would be. And then he wasn't. He knew now was he chance to make up for all of that.

"Hey, punk..." Bucky laughed as Steve turned to face him again. Steve's eyes were red and puffy from crying, and his body was broken. Bucky couldn't believe he had let that happen to him. He was supposed to pull Steve from a fight before that could happen. It was a lot harder now that he was a super solider.

He shifted so that his chest was facing Steve. Steve looked at him confused for a moment before Bucky reached forwards and pulled him into a hug. It was a bit stiff to start, but Steve knew Bucky was trying. "I'm with you till the end of the line, pal..." He breathed. Steve's eyes grew wide upon hearing Bucky say that to him for the first time in years. He felt his throat grow tight as he melted into Bucky's embrace.

"I have to go get them, Buck..." He said thru tears. "It's my fault there in prison. I need to get them out."

Bucky sighed and pulled away from the much needed hug. "I know...." He placed his good hand on Steve's cheek, "Just promise you won't get yourself killed..."

Steve nodded and smiled.

"I'll try, jerk."

Bucky laughed and ruffled Steve's hair, just like when they were younger. "You're not going dressed like that are you?" Bucky questioned as Steve stood up.

Steve looked down at his bloodied uniform. Bucky was right, if he went out in this, he was sure to be caught. "Were still in the city..... I'm sure I can find something...." He began to walk away but Bucky's voice stopped him.

"Who's Y/n?"

Steve froze. That name felt like a million knifes in his heart. He turned and swallowed hard. His look spoke volumes. "You were calling out for a Y/n late last night. I woke up and hear you but then blacked out again.... Who is she?"

Steve chuckled, "A friend."

"I didn't see her in battle..." Bucky spoke.

Steve nodded, "She doesn't fight. I don't know where she is now.... I just hope that she's okay.... She means a lot to me.... She helped me with a lot of things, Buck. I owe her my life."

Bucky nodded, and watched as Steve walked out of the warehouse in silence. Bucky knew by the way he talked about this Y/n that Steve cared about her as more than a friend. The funny thing was, Steve probably didn't know he cared about her that way. Bucky knew he had a tendency of shoving feeling down. He learned to do that after his mom passed.

Bucky sat and watched as Steve left. His back was shield-less, and he somehow didn't look the same. He seemed older.

Angrier.

The large doors closed with a loud thud, and Bucky found himself alone again.

"Y/n....Whoever you are....For Steve's sake...I hope your alright..." He whispered as he closed his eyes.

Y/n sat next to Vision on the kitchen counter. She watched as he added things into the pot, in hopes of making a better tasting dish.

She felt a shiver go down her spine, as if a breeze had blown by. Her head lifted slightly and her eyes looked to the window. She felt something deep down in her heart, but didn't know what.

"Miss Y/n... Are you alright?" Vision asked her kindly.

She looked to Steve's shield sitting next to her bags by the door. It seemed to look more alive than usual, it was like it was glowing. Like it was a signal that Steve was okay.

"Fine....." She whispered looking back to Vision.

"I just had a feeling....."


	7. Heartbeat

"Vision I'm fine. Really, you don't have to read me a bedtime story." Y/n snickered as Vision looked to her confused. He held the book in his hands and looked Y/n in the eyes. "Isn't this a normal custom for you? To have someone tell you a story?" His eyes whirred in confusion as he tilted his head awaiting her answer. "It's something kids do, and we both know I'm not a kid, right?" 

He smiled and looked down before standing up. She watched as he walked to the door, and smiled warmly at him.

He stood in the doorway and Y/n watched as his face changed. "It's just...." He began looking back at her, "I always saw Captain Rogers telling you stories, and you would often fall asleep. I simply assumed that it was something you enjoyed."

She sat frozen, unsure of how to respond. 

An old wound was just ripped open.

Steve.....

It had been a few days since Tony dropped Y/n back at the compound. He would come over from time to time and help Rhodey with his psychical therapy, but Y/n tried to avoid him. He would sometimes try and speak to her, but would cut himself off. It was like his pride was choking him. It wouldn't let him accept that he was wrong. 

Not that Y/n was any better. 

She was wrong for turning a cold shoulder to him when he needed her most.

And she knew it too. 

Both of them were far too stubborn to just knock down the walls and rebuild. 

Instead of knocking down walls, Y/n began to put more up. She went from crying every night to not shedding a single tear. She was a cold as ice, and her heart had turned to stone. But she smiled and acted like she was fine. Deep down, she just wanted everyone to come home.

She missed Clint, and Natasha's constant bickering. She longed to hear Thor's laughter bounce off the walls of the compound as he told countless war stories. She missed Bruce's timid yet sweet demeanor, and the joy that used to fill Tony. She missed the sound of 80's music in the halls as Sam sang into a hair brush along with Wanda. It was the little things that were now gone, that she missed the most.

Everyone just being together without a care in the world. It was all a distant memory as she sat in her cold bed looking up at Vision.

She hadn't spoken about Steve in a while. Whenever she was around, people avoided the subject. Everyone knew how much she missed him, and to mention him when Y/n was around was a very bad idea.

She hated how people were walking on eggshells around her. Losing the one family she had ever known was a big change by itself, but now having everyone treat her like some sort of time bomb? She hated it more than anything. It was the opposite of what she wanted. She wanted it to all feel normal again. But she also knew that that was impossible. After all, she lived with the Avengers; nothing was ever normal to begin with.

She looked up at Vision as he crossed his arms. A weak smile curled her lips, but Vision copuld see right thru the lie. 

"It wasn't the stories that helped me sleep." She confirmed, "It was the sound--" The words were caught in her throat, she choked on them as she tried to swallow. 

Her chest ached. The pain of losing Steve was fresh all over again. She clutched at the fabric of her sweatshirt and sighed. She felt hot tears sting in her e/c eyes as she tried to finish.

"The sound of his heartbeat..." She squeaked smiling painfully. "It would help me relax. It was so strong and yet gentle. I could feel it in his chest. It was just a reminder that he was close. That he was right there. That I-"

She was cut off as she felt Vision pull her into a hug. It was very stiff, considering it was his first one, but the intent was pure. She closed her eyes as she melted into it. 

"I understand...... I know that you love him very much..." He whispered softly. Her eyes flew open upon hearing that. Loved him? Her heart beat faster when she thought about it, and her cheeks turned red. Images of Steve's smile flooded her mind as she processed what Vision had said.

Then her mind shut her up.

Why did that word seem so far out of reach? Why was it something that she felt was impossibly awkward? 

She cared about Steve more than anything. She would die for him. He was always there for her and she was always there for him. He was what kept her going, her constant, her touchstone. But loved him? 

That word had always been represented as a childish emotion to her. It had been something that was mushy and pink and glitter filled. It was used to tell someone that you wanted a "more then friends" relationship. Or that's what it had become. She never used it because she was scared that no one would feel the same way. 

But now she understood.

Love was not always long walks on the beach, and dinner in candle light. It was something impossible but simple all at once. It was a strong connection between two people. It was a pure and beautiful. It didn't have to be kissing and holding hands. Vision had just opened her eyes to that. An AI that was not meant to feel love, knew more about the emotion then a human being did. 

She felt silly for perceiving what Vision had said so childishly. Of course she loved Steve. It was a true, pure, deep love that was forged by the both of them. Love didn't have to be romantic. It simply meant that you put that person before everyone else; even yourself. She had never used that word out of fear that Steve would think ill of her. But now she knew better. She should have told him how much she loved him before he left.

Not the kisses and date nights "love", but the kind of love that would never break. The kind of love that would last forever. A love that took over your heart until you can't even breathe. It was a strong and powerful love that made her heart ache. 

The kind of love that Steve would never know Y/n felt, because she was too stupid to tell him. 

She closed her eyes and squeezed Vision slightly. A single tear fell as she took a deep breath.

"You're right........" She rasped.

"I do.........."


	8. Sorry

The city was aglow as the rain fell harshly. Cars zoomed down the crowded streets as water was splashed up in waves. Umbrellas covered thousands of pedestrians as they moved like ants down the sidewalks. The sound of footsteps and cars was nothing new to these New Yorkers, but the large screens in Time Square spat out a whole new sound. 

A reporter was showing some older footage from the battle at the airport. People watched up in horror as the heroes they once loved fought with each other. It was strange to see Avengers against one another and not together. Mumblings like "How can this be?" and "They should have just signed those Accords" were heard as a hooded figure made their way thru the crowd.

The government released information on the Accords a few days after the war ended. Tony was at a press conference when he spoke about why the war had begun in the first place. He spoke about "The Winter Solider" and how Captain America was trying to save a "Lost Cause". Some people agreed with what the Captain had done, while still others thought it was a stupid and reckless move. The public was divided along with the Avengers, leaving the world in a constant state of conflict.

The hooded figure stopped and looked up at the screens as the reporter spoke about the recklessness that Captain America had shown that day. He spoke about how Tony Stark was the real hero, and anyone outside of the Accords should be locked away like the rest of Cap's team had. Rain bounced off the navy blue hood as a pair of sunglasses looked back down to the ground. Their thick black rims hiding most of his face, while darker stubble covered the rest. The giant TV screen reflected in the glasses as water dripped down his slim face.

With his appearance changed so much, no one would ever guess that it was Steve Rogers under those glasses. No one paid any attention to him as he began to walk again. The cloth sneakers he wore were now soaked and his gray sweatshirt clung to his body. The cold didn't bother him as he weaved in and out of the large crowd. Steve was trying his best to look like an average guy from Brooklyn, and has far as he could tell; it was working. No one recognized him, which was a good thing, but at the same time it hurt. 

The city that he had loved, and fought for had forgotten his name. It didn't bother him too much; after all, he was used to being forgotten. The bad thing was; he never forgot. He clutched a small photo in his pocket as he walked down the street. That's when he saw it. 

A woman, in an ally just across from him, was being beaten by some low life thugs. He could hear her muffled screams as she took one punch after the other. The sound of sick chuckling filled the air as the men brutally attacked the woman. Steve grinded his teeth and clenched his fists, no way he was letting them get away with this. He took a small step but froze when the men were thrown against the wall. He removed his sunglasses, rain flooding his eyes, as he looked to see someone drop down into the alleyway. 

A kid in a red and blue suit helped the woman to her feet and proceeded to call the police. Steve knew that suit anywhere; Spider-Man.

Spider-Man's head shot up as if he suddenly knew Steve was there. He looked behind him as the sound of sirens filled the air. 

The alley was empty.

He looked back to the woman and smiled under his mask, "Do you think you'll be okay until the cops pull in?" He questioned. She nodded and Spider-Man shot a web up into the air before disappearing. 

Steve had found a small coffee shop far from where Spider-Man spotted him. The waitress smiled warmly at him as he walked in. She asked him if he wanted a table, but he informed her he just needed to use the restroom. When he found the restroom he stepped inside and locked the door. Seeing that woman getting beat up had shaken him. It had proven his point. That's the kind of thing that Superheroes were meant to stop, but because of the Accords they weren't allowed to.

If it wasn't for Spider-Man, that woman could have been dead. He didn't see Tony offering to help her. That only filled him with more rage. Were those the hands he had left Y/n in? Was that who was now looking after her?

He looked into the mirror at his reflection and felt tears sting his eyes. 

What had he done?

Was this how it was going to be now? Him hiding in a abandoned building with a slowly dying Bucky? Walking the streets at night, trying to find food or any trace of his friends?

This was not what he had wanted. Not at all. He had to wipe his old phones memory but he was able to transfer one photo to the crappy one he had now. 

A picture of all the Avengers. 

They were all sitting together smiling. Thor looked like a Norse model, Clint and Natasha were giving each other rabbit ears, Sam was sitting on Tony's lap the two of them laughing, Wanda and Vision were cheek-to-cheek, and Steve swore he saw a slight blush on Wanda's cheeks. Then there was Y/n and him..... He was sitting laughing while Y/n had her arms around him. He missed the feeling of her holding on to him. A tear slid down his cheek as he looked down at the photo.

He hadn't realized how much he missed Y/n.... He felt stupid for not caring for her more. He was too caught up in his own bubble to realize how much she loved him. She was always there, she always would be. He wished for just one more moment with her. He wanted to say thank you for all she had done to help him. He wanted her to know that he too loved her.

Instead he slumped to the floor, the phone in his hand, letting the regret swallow him whole. He let it eat away at him until he was nothing more than a broken solider.

"I'm sorry...." He whispered preying that everyone he had wronged could hear him. 

Y/n held the address in her hand. She knew she had to go. She needed to find him, but how?

Visions voice cut thru her thoughts, "Goodnight Miss L/n..."

She looked up at him and smiled. "Soon...." She thought. "Night Vision!" was her only response. The lights went out and she looked to the shield on display on her desk. She crawled under the sheets and sighed, closing her eyes. She couldn't leave him. Not now. He needed her. She shifted till she was comfortable, then her body relaxed. A smile curled her lips.

"Don't worry Steve..... I'm coming......"


	9. I'm Bucky

"Honey, I'm home..." Steve joked as he walked back into the large brick building. His eyes darted around for any sign of Bucky but he found none.

Then from a far wall the man emerged, "Very funny darling..." He responded, his voice dripping with sass."Where have you been?" Bucky asked as he approached Steve. Steve removed his hat and sunglasses before running a hand thru his hair, "Out. Looking for other supers, trying to find food.... The usual." He smiled up at Bucky as he reached into his pocket.

A ripe plum was thrown in his direction and Bucky caught it with ease. He sniffed it before smiling at Steve. "As requested." Steve said bowing in a mocking manner. He then proceeded to place the rest of the fruits down on the crate they used as a table. Bucky furrowed his brow as he looked Steve up and down. "What about you?" He questioned, taking a bite out of the plum.

"What about me?" Steve asked puzzled. "You haven't eaten Rogers. It's not good for a growing boy like you."

Steve waved off Bucky's concerns,   
"What are you my mother?" He questioned with a laugh.

Bucky's face changed. He looked a bit confused, and Steve knew it. He lowered his arm and Steve swore he saw the gears in Bucky's head grind to a stop. He looked up at Steve a bit scared, "N-no..." He started looking upset with himself. "I'm Bucky. Not your mother. I'm your best friend." Steve held up his hands and took a step towards him. Bucky threw the plum and banged his fist against his head. "Stupid! I'd have to be a girl to be your mother! I'm Bucky. You said I was Bucky. I know I'm Bucky!"

Steve grabbed his arm, calming him down. Bucky shut his eyes for a moment. His whole body relaxed after a moment. This wasn't his first episode. A similar thing happened a few nights back. Bucky had awoken from a dream and didn't know where he was. He thought he was back in the chair that stole his memories. He had kicked at Steve for a little while before he calmed down. When he finally remembered where he was he apologized to Steve countless times.

He felt angry with himself for letting that happen. He hated relapses. They scared him, because he never knew if one of them would revert him back to The Winter Solider.

"I don't know why I do that...." He mumbled. Steve smiled sorrowfully, "its okay Buck..." Bucky sighed and opened his eyes. "It's almost as if..... Everything disappears again. And I don't even know how to think. Why would you making a joke about me being your mother confuse me?! Why does my mind question stupid things like that?!" Steve didn't know how to answer. He couldn't tell him why because he didn't know. But he wanted to know, and he wasn't going to stop until Bucky was at peace. He would help him if it was the last thing he did.

Before he could answer Bucky he heard his phone begin to ring.

Both of them tensed up and a look of fear was apparent on their faces.

Bucky nodded at Steve, letting him know he was okay to check the phone. Steve nodded as well and slowly approached the small flip phone. Bucky watched as his shoulders fell, "Steve?" He questioned. Steve turned around to face his friend.

"What is it?" Bucky asked sternly. Steve held up the phone. "No one knows this number...." He rasped.

"So who's calling?" Bucky asked angrily.

"Y/n........"


	10. Free

Bucky watched with a mix of confusion and fear apparent on his face. Steve was shaking slightly, his lips quivering into a small smile. It looked like he was trying not to smile, but he needed to.

Bucky raised his eyebrows and nodded towards the phone. Steve shook relentlessly as he flipped the device open. He swallowed hard as he placed the phone to his ear.

"Y-Y/n?"

~

"So you're saying that I'm okay to go out?"

"Perhaps....."

Y/n smiled and looked down at the couch beneath her. She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear as she looked up at Vision. "Tony's okay with this?" She asked nervously. Vision sat down next to her, his hand placed itself atop hers. "He told me that-" Before he finished he tilted his head slightly. "Well," He began again, "Why don't I let him tell you?" Y/n looked at the AI confused. "He's here?" She questioned barely above a whisper.

"Not exactly...." Vision started as he held out a small ear piece.  
Y/n looked from the tech, to Vision, her brows furrowed in a knot. He nodded for her to take it and she did. With one motion she placed the devise in her ear and waited. She jumped slightly when Tony's voice hissed to life thru the ear piece.

"Y/n? Is this recording? Yes? Oh good. Ahem, so anyways. If you're listening to this then Vision did his job for once.

Okay, here it goes. I've had a lot of time to think about what you said the day I dropped you off..." Y/n shifted in her seat and placed a hand over her mouth as she listened, "You are, and I don't say this often, completely right. Everything you said has been swimming in my ears and it won't leave me alone. I was so confused by everything that happened, so hurt by the way it all unfolded, that I wasn't looking at what I had done to make it turn out this way.

It wasn't the Accords that started the fight. It was me and Steve's egos butting heads. It went back way farther than that one moment in the living room. When I first met the guy we..... We didn't quite get along. It was nothing Steve had done; it was things my father never did. Steve was closer with my dad then I was. Seeing the very man that I never was able to live up to, waltz out of the ice as stunning as ever, made my blood boil.

I acted as thou Steve was the monster I always saw him as, and the only me he ever got to meet was the damaged little boy with an attitude problem. It was my fault that we never got along. If I had given his a reason to want to trust me, maybe Zemo wouldn't have been able to tear us apart like he had. Our friendship was built on both of our egos, and even though we had some great times together, at the end of the day we still didn't trust one another. All it took was a small slip up, a planted seed, a document, to tear us apart. And that's out fault.

The pain we both left in our wake is on us. I never-"

Y/n could hear the pain in his voice. He was fighting back tears as he recorded the message. She let some tears fall as she sat up, her shoulders shaking.

"I never meant to hurt you. Any of you, and I don't think Steve did either. We both fell far from grace, and now we have to play clean up. But I can't live with the pain of knowing I wronged you. You were the one thing I got to keep during all of this, and if I hurt you..... I'm sorry.....  
I just wanted to keep everyone together.....I didn't want to lose anyone else... I was so scared that you would leave me for him; I locked you in your room like a child. Steve was the closest thing I had left to family, and I know how much you love him. So I figured that if I had you with me, it would be like having Steve, but I was so wrong. I had no right to make that choice for you, I acted selfishly and I'm sorry."

Y/n wiped her tears and rested her head in her hands.

"I bet your listing to this on your favorite couch...."

Her head shot up as she looked at the white couch she was sitting on.

"That one spot that you always called for movie night. It smells like candy still from when you spilled those Sour-Patch-Kids during Star Wars night. I never had it cleaned ya' know.... It reminded me to much of you." Y/n heard a faint chuckle. A smile spread across her face as she took in a sharp breath. "You're free to leave. You can go out whenever you want. I made the mistake of keeping you prisoner when I was trying to keep you safe once. I'm not gonna' do it again. Just promise me one thing..... You're not going to get yourself killed looking for Steve. That warehouse is one a sketchy part of town."

Y/n froze, her hand went to her pocket where she clutched the address from Tony's computer. "You really think I didn't know about that? Honey, Tony Stark sees all...." He laughed. Y/n smiled again as she pulled the paper out. "One last thing..... There was a faint cell phone signal coming from that building, Vision has the exact location of the prison Cap's team was sent to. Something tells me Steve might want to know where that is....."  
Y/n looked to Vision. He held up a USB drive in his red hand. More tears fell as she stood and took the devise from Vision.

"Good luck..." Spoke Tony's voice, "I love you Y/n... Be safe." A female voice indicated it was the end of the recording and Y/n took out the com with a smile. She laughed as she threw her arms around Vision. He returned the hug and then pulled away. "Shall I?" He questioned as he looked to the USB. She smiled before wiping her stray tears.

~

"Steve what is it?" Bucky demeaned as he walked up to him. A tear-filled smile spread across Steve's face as he took the phone from his ear.

"Y/n..... She sent me..... The prison...I've found them...." Bucky looked at his friend confused, "Found who?" He asked a bit annoyed.

"My team...."


	11. Victim

Y/n stood in the center of the large glass room. Her eyes were fixed on the window as she ran over what she was going to say in her mind. Her white attire shone brightly in the mid day sun that streamed in thru the windows. It was met by her red lipstick that she had gotten from Clint a few years back. He said it matched her skin tone or whatever, Y/n still didn't know how Clint knew so much about makeup. Her hair was pulled back, and out of her face, while her feet were covered by black heels. All-in-all she looked like quite the supermodel as she waited for her host. 

She head the doors open behind her and her body stiffened with a bit of fear. The sound of heels snapping against the marble floors filled the air in moments. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning. She was met by a man and woman standing side by side. The woman had a fire in her eyes as she stepped forwards, her jaw clenched from anger.

"How dare you arrive here unannounced? The king has better things to do with his time then speak to arrogant Americans like you." She made her point by looking Y/n up and down.

The man next to her raised a hand. "That will be all." He spoke in a smooth voice. The woman deflated almost instantly, before turning to bow to her King. She left the room moment later, closing the doors behind her. Y/n swallowed hard as her nerves kicked in. The man looked at her quizzically before smile slightly.

Y/n bowed and closed her eyes, "You highness." She squeaked. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see him smiling at her. "Please, T'Challa will do just fine."

Y/n nodded as she watched him walk to the window. "You are a friend of the Captain's, no?" He questioned, his eyes remaining on the world outside the window. Y/n walked over and stood beside him sighing. "Yes...." She breathed. "I did not see you on the battle field." He stated coolly. She nodded at his statement, "I was confined to the Avengers home base, you majesty. Unable to fight, and unable to help the man I love."

T'Challa hummed in response, "Stark's doing?" Y/n smiled sighing. "Why have you come?" He asked looking her in the eyes, "I know not of the Captains location. How could I be any use to you?" Y/n looked out the window, her eyes glassing over. T'Challa noticed this and felt pity for the girl. He knew the pain of losing a loved one all too well. He knew the torment that she must be going thru, but said nothing of it. She recomposed herself and turned to face the king. He smiled at her sudden boldness, liking it a bit.

"I barely know you your highness. I've only seen you on the news and in picture. But I do know that you saved Steve. You stopped Zemo, and that is something that I cannot over look. I'm not here for me. I'm not going to ask you for money or protection or anything of that kind. But I need to know something." She looked him in the eyes, "Do you trust Captain Rogers and James Barnes?"

T'Challa froze. He did indeed. He no longer blamed James Barnes for the death of his father. He knew now that Zemo was the one to blame. The Captain's friend was a mere victim, much like his father. "I do...." He spoke earning a small smile from Y/n.

"I know where they are. I want to keep them safe, but if they stay in America they will be locked away. They're not safe anymore. I can't save Steve alone. I need help. There is no place for them to run...." He words cut off as a tear fell from her eye. She wiped it away and smiled. "What if there was?" T'Challa asked her. He could see the hope rekindle in her eyes as she waited for him to continue. "The Americans cannot take them if they are within my country's borders. If they come here, they will be safe."

Y/n smiled and looked down at her hands. "I can't ask you to do all that..." She choked. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "If I can help James Barnes live in peace, then my father will not die in vain. They were both victims of Zemo's hate and revenge. It is my sworn duty to help." She smiled up at him, "I don't know what to say...." He cupped her face in his hand.

"Your Captain will be safe. As long as he is inside my kingdom, no harm will ever befall him." She nodded in thanks, before reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a USB and held it out for him. "He's going to rescue his fellow Avengers from a maximum security prison. If he breaks them out, they will all flee back to the location on this USB. Give me some time to talk with him; you'll receive a signal when it's time to pick up the package. If not..... You can leave."

He nodded taking the device from her hand. "He will be ther, that much is certain. The real question is; will he be willing to leave you behind?" Y/n's face flushed as T'Challa bid her farewell. She bowed and soon watched him leave. Her eyes looked out the window as she took a deep breath. Everything was going according to plan.

Then her phone rang.

She took the device out of her pocket and pressed it to her ear.

"Tony?"

"Y/n. I just got a call from the Secretary of State. There's been a breach at the prison. Steve's there....."

She froze as her body started to shake. "What are you going to do?" She questioned breathlessly. 

Tony was silent on the line for a moment or two. Y/n felt her heart stop.

"Come by the compound before you rush over there. I have a few things I want to give you. There's a phone and this letter..... The phone is for me, but there's a second letter for you. You should read it.... And you're not going to want to forget his shield are you?"

Y/n smiled as she rubbed her forehead, "No I wouldn't...." She rasped as she hung up the phone with a smile....


	12. Suits You

"Okay, so I'm in a lot of trouble for letting this happen. The boss man is going to have my head. Anyways, Steve got there in a copter so my guess is he'll leave in one. Now if he's smart at all he'll leave the copter somewhere and hightail it to the warehouse on foot. I've got a big meeting, thing, in a few but I wanted to make sure you were okay to head out. If you got hurt I don't know what-"

Tony had no time to finish. His breath got caught in his throat as Y/n stepped out of her room. His brow knitted together as he suppressed the sudden need to sob. Y/n's eyes were on herself as she walked out in front of Tony. She sighed before looking up at him, a want for approval in her eyes. Tony rubbed his chin and shifted from one foot to the other. "Wow......" Was all he managed to say before rubbing his eyes. 

"Do..... Do I look silly?" She questioned tugging at the collar of the suit. Tony shook his head as he took in everything about her at that moment in time. She was wearing one of Steve's old "Captain America" uniforms.

It was solid navy blue, except for the brown gloves, belt, and boots. A silver star was adorned on her chest, and three silver line decals shot from a point on the star to her shoulders. A small American Flag was printed in silver on each shoulder, and a brown strap wrapped her back and shoulders. A clip was on the back of the strap, which Steve's shield magnetically connected to. The belt had many different pockets that each held a different devise Tony had given her for protection.

Tony had had it taken in by F.R.I.D.A.Y. so that it would fit Y/n's figure a bit more. Tony watched as she looked down at herself her brow furrowed. It scared him seeing how well the uniform suited her. It was almost like she was born to wear it. He didn't want her leaving to go find Steve in average street clothes. If she was going to go out, on what would be her very first mission, she had to look the part of Agent. Tony decided the best way to do that was to have Y/n fitted for one of Steve's old suites. She didn't want to at first but she soon gave in when Tony begged her enough. 

Y/n's eyes got all watery as she tugged the sleeves down a bit more. Tony cocked his head in confusion as he watched her fidgety behavior. Her body language spoke volumes. He could tell by the way she smiled forcefully, and the way she kept tugging at the fabric, that she was uncomfortable. He watched a single tear fall from her eye as she looked up and took a deep breath. He walked forwards and brushed her hair out of her face. "What's wrong?" He questioned trying to look her in the eyes. She dropped her head and chuckled sadly, "What isn't...." She mumbled hoping Tony didn't hear her. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, a bit of anger in his voice. He felt a sudden surge of rage as he stared at her. She looked up at him, her hair sticking to her face from tears. "I don't feel right!" She yelled pulling her hair back.

"I shouldn't have this on. This isn't right....... I'm...... I'm....." She threw a gloved hand over her mouth as she choked on the words. She felt like screaming, and crying, and breaking down again, but she knew it was time to be strong. Her hands balled into fists as she looked up at Tony, fear and rage burning in her eyes. 

"I'm not Steve."

Tony looked surprised. He placed a hand on her cheek lovingly, "No one is asking you to be...." He whispered as he dropped his hand. She faked a smile as she wiped her eyes.

"What if.... He doesn't care.... What if everything that I've come to realize is just because I can't deal with the fact that I'm not the one?" She questioned. Tony looked at her confused, she simply smiled. "You all think that I'm romantically in love with him. But I'm not. I mean...Sure....Who wouldn't want to be Mrs. America....But....I...." She sighed as she tried to regain her thoughts. "I know about Sharon." She squeaked.

Tony sighed and hung his head; that CIA Agent had been nothing but trouble since day one. "I don't hate her." Y/n began, "It's not like a curse her name every chance I get. Or I plot her murder in my diary.

But sometimes I get this funny feeling, like I'm getting now. Maybe I shouldn't do this? Maybe I should let Sharon be the one to help him..... Maybe that's what he needs." She looked out the window and then to the mirror. She scowled at her reflection and quickly turned away. "I shouldn't be the one to do this..... It should be her.....

But you know what? Deep down..... I often wonder......

Why her?"

Tony let a few tears fall as he sat down. Y/n was fully crying now, every tear fell silently as she tried to regain her composure. "What is it she has that I don't? I've been there for Steve every step of the way. I've been the one to help him up, to watch him grow. It was me. Not her."

She sighed as she sat down; the navy blue fabric crinkling as she shifted. 

"But he loves her...... Doesn't he?" She asked as she turned to Tony. He didn't answer. He couldn't even look her in the eyes. Y/n shook her head free of her selfish thoughts. This was not the time to be throwing herself a pity party. T'Challa was awaiting her call, and Steve was in need of a place to run to. She wiped her eyes, and then looked down at her gloved hands. She was wearing Steve's gloves. She wasn't worthy enough to be wearing this suit. She never had been worthy enough of Steve.

She was a nothing compared to Sharon. She wasn't as beautiful, or skilled. She hadn't caught his eye Like Sharon had. And she never would. She and Steve were never meant to be. She was nothing more than a friend to him...... but she was okay with that..... As long as he was happy, she was happy. Even if that meant that she would be alone for the rest of her life.

She stood up and sighed, before wiping her eyes. She looked to Tony and smiled warmly. "I'm doing this for him. He needs someplace to go. I'm the last shot he has, and I'll be damned if I'm not gonna' help him. She stated fixing her boot straps. Tony nodded as he stood up. Y/n watched him disappear around the corner for a moment or two. Her eyes went to her reflection. She did look like Steve. The uniform and everything. It felt odd to see herself in something that he once wore, but at the same time it was amazing. 

For the first time in her life, she felt like a real hero.

She watched as Tony appeared in back of her holding Steve's shield. "If you're gonna' fight.... You might need this...." She smiled at him as she took the shield from his hands. It was light in her hands and the metal felt cool against her bare fingers. She studied it for a moment before flipping it and placing it on her arm. She gripped it as tightly as she could, not wanting to ever let go. She turned one last time and looking at herself in the mirror. 

For a moment she saw a hero.

An Avenger.

And then she was herself again. 

"I'm ready......"


	13. For Him

Sharon ran her fingers thru her hair as she searched around her desk for her ringing phone. She tossed files and paper and other things as she continued her search. The ringing was almost taunting her as she looking for it in anger. She let a sigh escpae her lips as she pulled it from under a stack of papers. Her brow furrowed when she looked at the number. It was marked unknown.

"Proceed with caution, Sharon....." She spoke to herself as she placed the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Are you Sharon Carter?"

"Depends on who's asking....."

"Listen I don't have time for this, okay? I'm kinda about to do something crazy so if you are Sharon then woopdee-do. If not, then just forget I called."

Sharon looked back at the number on her screen, a bit dumbfounded at the forwardness of the caller. "This is Sharon..." She spoke. The caller sighed.

"My name is Y/n.... I'm a friend of Captain Roger's..."

"Oh my God.... Steve?! Is he alright? The last I heard he was half dead somewhere.... Why are you calling me?"

"I'm calling you so that I can ask you something. If I get a good answer then I'll sleep better at night. If not..... Who needs sleep anyways......"

Sharon frowned at the statement this, Y/n, had just made. "Go on..." She spoke.

"Do you love him?"

Sharon froze. Who the hell did she think she was calling her out of nowhere and asking this sort of thing? "Excuse me?" Sharon snapped, "What the hell is this? Some sort of joke?" The woman sighed, "No. I need to know. It's very important to me that you do. Because if you don't.... well...."

Sharon became red in the face. This was bullshit. "I don't think I need to answer this! I'm not even sure why I'm still on the line with you...."

"Please."

Sharon was taken off guard by the raw emotion in the girl's voice.

"If you don't then tell me. Because I'm not about to let him give his heart away to someone who want love him. He's kept his heart under lock and key, trust me I know. He's not the type of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve. He doesn't show interest in many people, and those he does are lucky to have him.

He's been thru a lot. Too much for any one man to handle. I don't think he could take another heartbreak of any kind."  
Sharon was near tears. Whoever this girl was, she cared deeply for Steve.

"He likes you, Sharon. He really does. So you either like him back or you move on. Because if you lead him on only to shatter his hear later, noting in these nine realms will stop me from killing you myself. If you hurt him, it's me you'll have to deal with, understand?"

"If you love him this much; why aren't you the one there for him?"

"Believe me, I have been. I'm........ I'm going away after tonight. I'm gonna' let him live his life the way he wants. I'm not going to hold him back. It's like they always say, "If you really love someone, let them go."."

Sharon sighed her heat ached for this girl. "He loves you, Sharon. I'm not going to change anything. So promise me your gonna' take care of him for me. Promise you won't let anyone hurt him. Promise me your gonna' love him forever. I need to know he's going to be happy with you...... Promise me....."

The blonde sat down at her desk, her hand over her mouth. This Y/n really cared about Steve, to the point of ensuring he was giving his heart to the right person. It was the sweetest thing she had ever heard. She knew what she had to do. Y/n loved Steve so much. It was the only option.

"I promise..."

Y/n felt her throat grow tight. That was it. That was all she needed to hear. She felt a sad smile curl her lips. If Steve was happy, she was happy.

"Thank you..."

Sharon gasped at the phone line went dead. She looked down at the unknown number with a mix of shock and pity.

Y/n sighed as she handed the phone off to Vision. "Drop me here..." She whispered as she placed the helmet on her head. Vision dropped the ramp and Y/n stared at it in fear. She was really doing this.

"Don't come for me until I say...." She spoke over her shoulder as she jumped down in front of the warehouse.


	14. Arrived

Y/n's footsteps filled the dead night air as she approached the entrance to the warehouse. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she stepped over rocks a small patches of grass. A few lightning bugs lit up near her as she scoped the area. There was no helicopter in sight. Tony was right; he must have left it somewhere else. Moonlight glistened in the rain drops that covered everything in sight. If it wasn't for the fear that filled her mind, she would have stopped to look at her beautiful surroundings.

It was like a scene out of a movie, and for the first time in her life; she was the star. She listened as the shield on her back made a "whooshing" sound every time she turned. That was one of her favorite things about Steve's shield. When he would throw it, it always made the most amazing sound. Part of her was still wondering how she made it this far. The governments of the world had been looking for Steve and his team for months now, and she just so happened to stumble across their hiding spot?

It almost seemed too easy.

Shaking her doubt from her mind she rounded a large truck before the building came into view. It was very old brick, and looked like it would crumble at any moment. "How they haven't found him yet is beyond me..." She chuckled as she stopped walking, and placed her hands on her hips. "He's hiding in Brooklyn for God's sake...."  
Her eyes landed on the doors of the building. Big, metal, and very rusted. There was a chain and pad lock on the handles, and red rust was growing around the frame. The faint sound of cars was heard as she checked her surroundings. Her stealth suit blended perfectly with the night sky as she stood shaking.

Was she really doing this? 

The realization of seeing Steve came crashing down on her. If she was to meet him inside, what would she do? How would he react? She looked down at the uniform she wore and began to tug at the fabric. A full blown panic attack was beginning to claim her. After everything that had happened, was waltzing in there really the best plan? Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked down at her hands; the brown leather reminding her of Steve. Everything was moving so fast. It seemed like just yesterday Tony was coming home with Steve's shield. 

She hadn't allowed herself to slow down since the war ended. It had been nothing but one distraction after the other. Anything to keep her busy. She slowly came to terms with everything.

The phone call with Sharon, the talk with T'Challa, forgiving Tony, and the fact that after tonight, both her and Steve might never see each other again.

Her eyes darted around as her breaths became shaky. She felt her chest grow tight as she tried to calm her breathing. She took a few steps back and heard a "Splash" as her foot landed in a puddle. She spun around and looked at her reflection. For a moment she saw Steve staring back at her. His blue eyes seemed to be glowing as he hung his head. She closed her own eyes and shook her head; her hair falling loose of the helmet. Her hands grabbed her head, as she fell to her knees. She felt her chest shake as she tried to calm herself down.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's OKAY!" She yelled as she opened her eyes. Her shaking stopped when she saw her own reflection looking back at her. The water was rippling from the wind, but Y/n saw her own face; not Steve's.

Her fingers traced the strap on her chin and made their way to her ear. She felt the black earpiece there and sighed. It was there in case something like this happened. In case she needed to call in backup because she had broken down. Up until this point, Y/n had alwayed relied on her fellow Avengers to save her. She had been told for so long that she couldn't fight; she realized that she never even tried. It was always her on the sidelines watching The Avengers fight and save her.  
Now she knew. She wasn't going to wait around for Tony or Thor or Steve to fight for her. She was going to fight for herself.

Starting now.

Y/n closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they were filled with determination.

She ripped the com link out and stood up with a deep breath. With a scowl she tossed the small black com into the puddle and watched it spark. This was her fight now, and no one was going to get in her way. She turned her head back to the warehouse and felt her heart pick up pace again. 

"Not this time..." She whispered to herself as she walked over to the doors.

For the first time in her life she felt important. She felt like a hero.

She felt like Captain America.

Y/n reached back and pulled the shield off her back. She gripped the handles tightly as she raised it above the lock. In one swift motion the lock had broken and fallen to the ground. She shook out the rest of her nerves and rolled her shoulders, loosening up. Then with a nod she grabbed the handle and pulled as hard as she could. The sound of creaking metal filled the air as she yanked at the rusted door. It snapped a moment later sending red dust into the air.

She fanned in front of her mouth and coughed before stepping past the broken entrance.

It was dark; too dark to see. The moonlight outlined a few creates and a rock or two, but nothing more. She needed more light. Turning back to the doors, Y/n raised her leg and kicked them both down. Light now flooded in as she held the shield up, ready to defend herself. A bird flew out of a hole in the roof as Y/n stepped closer to one of the creates. A small smile curled her lips as she picked up a round fruit in her hands. She sniffed the plum and sighed, "Good to know you boys are eating...." She chuckled as she placed the food down.

She spotted a water bottle or two, a few old pillows, some jackets, and a note book not too far from where she was standing. She placed the shield on her back as she walked over to the pile of things. Her fingers danced over the fabric of the jacket and soon landed on the note book. She grabbed it and opened it carefully.

A drawing of Tony was the first thing she saw.

It was so detailed and life like, she almost mistook it for a picture. She ran her fingers over the drawing as she smiled sadly. The next pages held drawings of all the Avenges, and lots of Bucky. She wiped a tear from her eyes as she looked thru the rest. The pages went blank after a while, and she almost put the book down. The something caught her eye. The last ten pages of the book were all drawings........ 

Of her.

A gasp escaped her lips as she stared at the picture before her. It looked just like her, only more beautiful. She held back tears as she flipped thru the rest. Each page held multiple drawings of her with various emotions. Happy, sad, angry, surprised, sleepy, and so on. The last two were scribbled over and the words "Stop it Steven" were written above them. She could faintly make out her own face again along with what looked like Steve.

She stood there, very confused as she looked over every drawing. The detail was amazing. It was like looking in a mirror. But this raised the question, why her? Why were there so many drawings of her? 

She was expecting to see some of Sharon, but not of her.

She felt her heart ache as she closed the book. Her eyes wandered around as she put it back where she had found it. A loud gasp was heard as she ran to the other side of the ware house. She skidded on her knees as she picked up the bloodied fabric in her hands.

Steve's uniform.

Her eyes remained on the cloth as she wracked her brain for possible answers.

She didn't even see the man take aim at her from the rafters. His eyes were locked on Y/n as he drew back his weapon. "I've got eyes on the intruder....." He whispered into his com link. There was a crackling before a second voice rang thru. "Good. You know what to do Barton."

Clint nodded as he drew back his arrow.


	15. Fight

"You ready Scott?" Clint asked the miniature man holding on to the head of the arrow. "Just like old times." Scott responded as he held on for dear life. Clint closed one eye as he aimed for the intruders back.

Steve was not too far from where Scott and Clint were. He and Wanda were currently defending Bucky. Being down an arm had really set him back. Steve knew that he was still able to fight, but Bucky didn't want to risk a relapse so he decided to stay on the side lines. Wanda was still shaken up from being held in such horrible conditions, but she knew that she had to fight.

Sam was keeping lookout while reporting anything he could see about the intruder. "Cap...." Sam's voice spoke. Steve turned in the direction that Sam had left in, "What?" There was a pause, "You're not gonna' believe this." Now it was Clint's turn to speak, "Wait a minute, who the hell is this guy? How did he get Cap's shield?"

Every single one of Steve's muscles tensed as Clint's words rang thru his ears. The last time he had seen his shield was when he left it with Tony at the end of the battle. His eyes looked back at Bucky, who looked rather frightened. Steve was just as scared, but his team didn't need to know that. He pressed his hand to his ear as he grabbed Wanda and pushed her behind him. She protested but when she saw the look in Steve's eyes she stepped back.

"My shield is in government possession now. I left it with Tony. He had to have turned it over to them. We have to assume that anyone who has it is with the Accords." He felt his throat grow tight. "Then what's our next move Captain?" Scott asked a bit upset. Steve sighed, the last thing he wanted was to hurt another government agent, but he also needed to protect himself and his team. He looked to Wanda and Bucky and they both nodded at him. He took a deep breath before placing his hand on his ear once more.

"Take them out. We can't afford not to."

Y/n got the feeling that someone was watching her. She took a step back and that's when she heard the shot. Her head spun around as she grabbed the shield off her back. An arrow hit the ground far too quickly and the explosion went off right in front of her. Steve's shield protected her upper body, but couldn't protect her legs. She screamed as the fire from the blast burned her skin. She was thrown a few feet back and crashed into the wall, not before dropping the shield.

Her ears were ringing as she propped herself up. There was rust, dirt, and blood covering her face. She moaned as she looked down at her left leg. The suit was burned away and her flesh was red and bubbling. She cried out as she tried to stand; her eyes on the shield that had blown a few feet away from her. She gasped loudly as a man appeared out of nowhere. His red and black suit looked somewhat like a motorcycle suit, and his silver helmet resembled the head of a bug. He bent down and picked up the shield. Y/n watched as his hand pressed a button on the side of his helmet revealing his face.

She didn't recognize him, but she hated him at the moment. He flipped the shield in his hands before looking over at her broken figure. "I think I'll keep this." He said with a smile as he placed the shield on his arm. "Wow. This is why lighter then I previously thought." He stated as he tried a few fighting combos with the red, white, and blue disk. He looked up to the rafters and gave someone up there a thumbs up. Y/n heard a groan of disgust and knew instantly who was up there. Y/n began to stand up; she noticed a strange look at the shrinking man's face as she did so.

She bit down on her lip trying to ignore the pain in her leg. The taste of blood filled her mouth as she realized she had just bit her own lip open. "That shield doesn't belong to you." She spat. The man looked at her and laughed, "It doesn't belong to you either!" He snorted before freezing. Y/n looked up at the rafters, certain that it was Clint up there.

"Wait a minute....." The man looked her up and down. "Uh.... Cap. The intruder is a...... girl. And she's dressed like you...." Y/n felt her heart skip a beat.

Steve was here.

"S-Steve is here?" She questioned not hearing the footsteps coming up from behind her. She felt a tap on her shoulder, followed by a punch to the face when she turned. "And what if he is?" Sam questioned as Y/n dragged herself from the ground. She smiled at him, "Good to see you too..." She whispered as she threw a punch as well. He blocked it and swung his leg under hers, knocking her to the ground. She yelped as her head hit the floor, but she wasn't done yet.

"Who sent you?!" Sam yelled as she rose again, only to doge a punch from his but take a shield to the back as Scott threw Steve's old weapon. Blood was pouring from her mouth as she coughed loudly.

Clint was watching the whole scene unfold. There was intense combat between Sam, Scott, and the intruder as her readied his next arrow. Something deep inside told him not to fire. He froze and lowered his weapon as he watched the girl throw another punch at Sam, and then flip, wrapping her legs around Scott's neck and taking him to the ground. They almost looked like Natasha's moves. He furrowed his brow, "There's something off here Captain. These are S.H.I.E.L.D. agent moves. She's gotten training somewhere else."

Clint watched as she hopped around, her arms protecting her face. She jabbed at Sam and landed a few solid hits before ducking to avoid Scott's next punch. "This looks like your fighting style....." Clint spoke. "So she's dressed like you, and she fights like you. Who the hell is this supposed to be? Miss America?"

Y/n threw a punch at Scott but missed when he shrunk. She felt a great force grab her arm and throw her to the ground. She screamed as Scott appeared big above her. "I'm Scott by the way." He smiled as he punched her before shrinking again. Y/n sat up and wiped her lip. "I don't care!" She yelled as she swung her legs under Sam, ignoring the pain. Scott tried to get her from behind but Y/n ducked and spun around kicking him in the gut. He yelped as he skidded against the concrete.

Sam and Scott were both down as Y/n stood above them. "I don't want to fight you!" She yelled as she looked over at the shield Scott had dropped. Sam groaned before failing to get up. "I'm not here for you." She yelled as she watched Sam struggle. It seemed a bit odd to her that they were fighting her like this. Then she remembered the helmet she had on. The eyes were goggled over and it made hard to recognize her. She rolled her eyes at her own stupidity but froze when a familiar voice filled her ears.

"Let me guess..."

Y/n spun around and watched as a large figure walked out of the shadows.

She knew that frame anywhere.

Steve.

Y/n shook as she watched him pick up his shield in his strong hands. "You're here for me...." He spat as he stood tall.

She studied his face for a moment. It had been so long. There he was, standing before her in all his glory. The one person that she missed more than anything in the world. The wounds on his face were healed but small scars were still visible. His eyes were the same electric blue, and the way he was looking at her broke her heart.

He didn't know who she was.

"S-Steve....Please....." She choked as she took a step towards him. He instinctively raised his shield and she stopped. "How do you know me?" He breathed as he furrowed his brow.

She glanced behind him and saw Wanda holding back a tall man with black hair. He looked like he wanted to kill Y/n.

Bucky.

Y/n laughed and smiled as she looked back at Steve. He cocked a brow at her and she wiped her bloody lip. "It's really you......" She choked as tears streamed down her cheeks. Steve gripped his shield. "How do you know me?!" He yelled. Y/n's heart was breaking. She heard a voice in her mind.

It was Wanda.

"Who are you? Why have you come?"

Y/n could feel Wanda moving around her thoughts. She watched as the girls face changed when she realized who it was under the helmet. "Y/n......" She gasped as her grip on Bucky loosened. Bucky's eyes looked to Wanda and then to Y/n.

Y/n went to go lift her helmet off. Her hand undid the strap, but before she could lift it off an arrow came out of nowhere and shot rope around her body. Wanda and Bucky both yelled "NO!" and Steve turned to look at them. Clint froze when he heard the two yell.

Y/n lost balance and fell over with a shout; her helmet fell off just before her head crashed down. There was a sick "crack" that filled the air as Y/n's body hit the ground. Wanda tried to catch her with her hex, but failed and screamed when she fell.

The helmet rolled to Steve's feet and he crouched down to pick it up. It looked just like his. So did this girls suit. Who was she, and why was she dressed like him? Steve gasped as Bucky went running past him, knife drawn. Clint jumped down from his perch and ran to help Wanda, while Sam and Scott helped each other off the ground. "Buck?" Steve yelled as he watched his friend cut the girl free of the ropes.

He held her with his one arm and tried to wake her up. A small smile curled his lips as he looked up at Steve. "Just like your drawings..." He laughed tears stinging in his eyes.

Steve froze, his face fell, and he began to shake. His shield fell to the ground as he looked t the bloodied face of the girl Bucky was holding. "No....." He whispered as he walked forwards. He ran to her and took her in his own arms as he let tears fall.

"Y-Y/n.... Oh my God.... What........" Bucky watched as Steve held her in his arms. Her eyes opened for a moment and she smiled. He stroked her face and smiled sadly at her. "Hey there Star Spangled Man with a plan...." She joked earning a smile from Steve and Bucky. "Hey...." He breathed as he rubbed her face with his thumb. She looked over at Bucky and smiled again. "Is this your old boyfriend?" She said with a shaky laugh. Bucky smiled at her. Steve swallowed hard when he saw Bucky's face light up. 

"Yeah..." He laughed, "Are you the Y/n I keep hearing about?"

She looked up at Steve. She could feel the darkness gripping her again. "Surprise....." She whispered as her eyes rolled back and she went limp in Steve's arms. His heart rate surged. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...." He spoke as he began to shake. Wanda placed a hand on his shoulder. "She's alive. I can hear her thoughts." Steve sighed as he stood up, holding Y/n bridal style.

"Bucky, can you and Sam set up a place for her?" The two nodded at him, but scowled at one another before walking away to set up a bed for Y/n.

Steve placed her down and moved her hair from her face. He smiled upon seeing her again. It had been too long. He leaned in and placed a sweet kiss to her forehead, "Rest.... I'll be right here..." He watched her stir in her sleep and then reached down and grabbed her hand.

"I'm never leaving you again....."


	16. Dream

It had been a few hours since Y/n had passed out, and Steve hadn't left her side. He sat on a box next to her make-shift bed holding her hand. Bucky had come over once or twice to ask him if he needed anything, but Steve refused help from anyone. It was his fault she was hurt, so he was going to be the one to fix it.

A few others would stand off to the side and watch while whispering amongst themselves. Scott had gotten Y/n's story from Wanda and a few words from Sam as well. Clint remained on lookout, but would ask Sam frequently how Y/n was doing.

Bucky walked up to Steve and smiled at him raising his eyebrows. "Still out, eh?" He asked handing Steve a bottle of water. Steve took it and shrugged, "Her eyes keep fluttering, and her body shakes every now and then. Other than that she seems fine...." His eyes lingered on her sleeping form for a moment or two before looking back to Bucky with a smile.

"I wonder what she's dreaming about....." Bucky whispered.

~

The atmosphere was electric as the sound of voices finally died out. The party had ended a few hours ago and the last of the guests had left. Who knew Tony would throw this big of a party over finding Loki's scepter. Thor seemed to have enjoyed himself, and so did the rest of the team. It was nice to just see everyone relaxing, and not worrying about the end of the world.

Now that the guests were gone, the Avengers were all gathered in the main living room. Laughter and talking filled the air as smiles and good stories were passed around. Y/n had retreated to the couch when the heavy drinking started; she never liked what came after the drinking games. Steve had noticed her flee and decided to join her, not wanting her to be alone. She was sitting watching everyone drink and laugh with a small smile on her lips.

She sighed and turned when she felt the couch shift next to her. Her eyes met Steve's blue ones as he handed her a beer. She took it and smiled at him before taking a sip.

Once everyone saw how much fun Y/n and Steve were having, they all flocked to the living room. Now they all sat having different conversations with one another. Y/n was sitting next to Steve still as Clint mocked Thor and the rest laughed. For some strange reason she felt like she had done all of this before. It was almost as if she had lived this moment before, but she wasn't sure.

"You know...." Y/n began as she shifted in her seat, her dress fabric crinkling. Steve smiled at her and took a swig of his beer, "No. I don't." He laughed. Y/n punched him on the arm, "I didn't even finish yet, ass...." She laughed earning a heart-melting smile from the blonde. She loved seeing him smile, it always brightened her day.

"Yeah, whatever man. It's a trick!" Clint voice spoke as Y/n turned to face him.

She let her eyes, and mind, wander as the rest of the group questioned Thor's hammer. She laughed slightly as she watched all the smiles. Everyone looked so happy to be together. She knew that this was normal but at the same time it felt wrong. She watched as Steve looked to Tony with a wicked smile. Tony was attempting to lift the hammer, and Steve found it amusing. She watched them laugh and joke with one another, and while she did a empty feeling rose in her gut.

She was knocked free of her thoughts when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. Her eyes went to Steve and he smiled at her before pulling her a bit closer. "You looked cold." He spoke. She raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed, "I already gave my jacket to Maria." He stated pointing at the S.H.I.E.L.D agent across from them. She shrugged and cuddled close to him. His warmth was soothing, and she breathed deeply taking in his sent. Her face was smooshed against his side and he laughed at her sleepy attitude. "Rest now...." He whispered.

A strange feeling rose in her stomach. She had heard him say that before. This wasn't right. A look of confusion spread across her face as she sat up. Everyone looked at her concerned, each ready to help her with what was wrong. She looked at Tony and watched as his face flashed from normal to bruised. She drew back when Steve tried to help her. Her breathing quickened as she scooted away from the super solider.

Just a moment ago she had felt safe and sound in her home. But now something was creeping back in. Something that was all too real. She looked to Steve and saw his face flash to a broken and bloodied version. A yelp escaped her lungs as she stood up, stepping away from the group. Thor took a step towards her, a look of concern on his face. "Lady Y/n. Are you well?" He asked as he held up his hands. She shook her head and looked down at her hands.

"I've been here before...."

Everyone looked at each other confused. "Yeah..." Bruce began, "You live here. We all do... Y/n are you alright?" She shook her head again and felt her body shake. This wasn't happening. No way. There was a snap and memories came flooding in like water. She remembered the first time she met the Avengers.

She remembered being with the team after Loki was taken away. She remembered going back to S.H.I.E.L.D with Steve and living two doors down from him. She remembered movie nights with Tony and the gang, and bad dinner parties at Stark Tower. She remembered being with Steve when the Winter Soldier's mask fell to the ground and his identity was reveled. She remembered finding him on the lake shore, half dead, and calling for help as she lied with him. She remembered seeing Bucky walking away from Steve's cold body.

She remembered.

"Y/n.....Sweetheart?" Her eyes shot up when those words left Steve's mouth. He would never address her like that. He looked at her with a sympathetic smile and held out his arms. She continued to shake her head as she lost the grip on this fake reality. This was wrong, she had lived this already. She knew how this ended, and she knew that it wasn't happy. "I have..... I have to go...." She breathed as she took a step down the stairs. "(Nickname), what's going on?" Tony spoke as he placed his drink down.

She looked at everyone and froze. The memories she had were broken and they were painful. They showed her that she was alone in more ways then she could count. They showed that Steve's heart belonged to Sharon, but here it belonged to her. She thought about it for a moment. It would be so much easier to just stay here and live life with the "happy" Avengers. She would have everything she ever wanted. A small smile curled her lips as she thought about that.

She could be happy.

But it wouldn't be real.

She looked to the door and saw a light shine under it. Then she looked back to her family. They were all standing, looking very concerned. She smiled at them for what she knew would be the last time. Her eyes landed on Steve as he furrowed his brow, "Sweetheart?" He choked. She felt a pang of regret in her heart as she watched the way he looked at her. It was so full of love and kindness. He wanted her in this world, and deep down she wanted to stay for that very reason. She stepped forwards and let a tear roll down her cheek. Her hand reached up and caressed his face. He smiled at her sadly as she rubbed his cheek with her thumb.

Her heart picked up pace as she felt herself leaning in, and to her surprise, Steve was doing the same. Their faces were inches apart and Y/n could feel his warm breath on her lips. She smiled warmly and so did he. "Steve...." She whispered as she felt his hands grab her waist. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. She let more tears fall as she held his face in her hands.

"This isn't real......" She told herself much to Steve's dismay. "My love for you will always be real..." He spoke brushing her hair out of her face. She looked down and shook her head smiling. "I....I love you Steve...."

She surprised herself more than anything as she finally allowed herself to admit her love for him. It was strange to feel the words leave her mouth. She smiled knowing that she meant it; she loved him. He smiled and hugged her tight, stroking her hair as he kissed the side of her head.

"That's why I have to let you go...."

He looked up at her confused as she left his warm embrace. Her eyes were filled with tears as she watched his face change. He looked hurt by her words, but she knew it was the right thing to do.

She couldn't stay here in this fake reality. It would be taking the easy way out, and Steve had taught her better than that. It was time to face the music. As long as Steve was happy, it didn't matter if he loved her back. This was the choice she had to make, and it was killing her.

She ran to the door, not daring to look back, as Steve yelled her name. She grabbed the doorknob and opened the door before running thru. The last thing she heard was her name being yelled by every Avenger as she vanished into the light beyond the door.

A sharp pain shot thru her head as he eyes slowly opened. She was greeted by what looked like bright light as her eyes fully opened.

The Avengers were gone.

The tower was gone.

She was back in her own reality as a pair of blue eyes met hers. She knew they belonged to Steve, but it broke her heart to see they were lacking the happiness and love they held in her dream. "You awake..." He beamed as tears welled up in his eyes. He helped her up and she looked around at everyone sitting before her. The pain of the memories became all too real as she smiled at everyone; trying to mask her own pain.

"I'm sorry..." She breathed looking to Steve. 

"For all the pain you have felt. For all the sleepless nights, and the times you cried alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, and I'm sorry that you felt alone all those years." 

Steve was now crying as he listened to every word that left her mouth.

"I'm so, so, sorry for everything that you have been thru Steve. I wish I could make all the pain go away, for you...." She grabbed her side and winced, hanging her head as she let tears fall.

She gasped as she felt Steve pull her into a hug. "Thank you." He choked burying his face in the crook of her neck. "For loving me...."

She closed her eyes and held him close; being with him at this moment in time was more than enough.


	17. Letter

Tony sat on his orange couch with his head in his hands. Ever since that woman approached him at the MIT conference, he had had nonstop migraines. He was sitting in the silence waiting for the medication to kick in when he heard a beeping from his lab. With a reluctant sigh he stood from his spot on the couch and dragged his feet to the lab. Vision was sitting in the kitchen looking thru a cook book when Tony passed him.

"Looks like take out tonight F.R.I.D.A.Y....." He mumbled to himself.

He sighed loudly as he opened the glass doors in front of him. He took out his phone and switched on the lights as he walked over to his computer. His eyes wandered over the screen as several alerts popped up. Tip wires in the warehouse Y/n had been sent to. Now if this was normal Tony, he would be watching everything as it played out, but Y/n had made him promise to let her do this on her own. He blew a breath thru his lips as he leaned back in his seat. The plastic creaked as he bounced about in the office chair.

"Uuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhh....." He groaned as he spun around a few times. His headache wasn't getting any better, and the stress of not knowing how Y/n was doing was not helping. He scooted to the left and glanced at Vision in the kitchen. He watched as the AI grabbed a few things from the fridge and began laying them out on the counter. Not wanting to risk another meal from the worst cook in the world, Tony stood and walked over to the kitchen.

"What's up?" He questioned, popping the "p", as he sat down at the breakfast bar. Vision looked up at him a bit surprised. "I was attempting to make some...." He paused as he looked over at the cookbook, "Chocolate chip cookies..." He hummed as he looked up at Tony. Tony pushed out his bottom lip and nodded. "Sounds good...." He lied. His stomach churned as he looked at some of the things Vision had on the counter.

"Not sure what you need ketchup for, but okay..." He sighed as he stood up again.

In all honesty, Tony was losing his mid a little bit. Day in and day out it was the same thing. Wake up, eat, walk around aimlessly, eat, more aimless walking, more eating, and eventually bed. It was killing him to have the compound so empty. He missed the life that used to ooze from the walls. He missed his family. True he still had Vision and Rhodey, but they were only pieces of a much bigger puzzle. A puzzle that was now un-assembled; broken.

"Tony..." Visions voice rung out as he placed the bag of sugar down on the counter. Tony sniffed and turned to face him, "Yeah?" He asked. "I'm sorry to interrupt your thoughts, but I noticed that you neglected to give Miss Y/n he letter from Captain Rogers." Tony's heart sank to his stomach. He had been so focused on making sure Y/n was safe, that he had forgotten all about the letter that had come with the phone Steve sent.

"Fuck......" He breathed as he shuffled to his desk to look for the paper. He rummaged thru countless stacks of papers and photos, before he found the envelope marked "Tony" in Steve's perfect handwriting. "Got one. Where is your friend...?" He mumbled to himself as he placed the flip phone on top of his own letter.  
"How did you remember?" Tony shouted to the kitchen, awaiting Visions response.

"I recalled you reading yours when the call about the prison break arrived. Then I realized that Miss Y/n never read the one addressed to her personally." Tony pursed his lips as he cursed his own stupidity. A laugh was heard when he finally found his missing letter. He pressed a chaste kiss to the envelope before sitting down. Weighing the options in his mind, he decided he should read it in case it contained any important information.

"What the hell, right?" He said to himself as he opened the document.

He recognized Steve's handwriting right away and felt a pang of pain in his heart. He sat back and began reading.

"Y/n,

This is sort of my "I'm sorry" letter. It's an apology to you, and only you, for everything I've done. I know I hurt you when I left, and I might never gain your trust back, but you need to know something. I need to tell you how I feel.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about that beautiful, kind, caring girl sitting in the conference room; the one who I was lucky enough to meet, let alone become so close with. I still remember the way you smiled at me and shook my hand. You told me your name and assured me you already knew who I was. When I found out later on you had been there to help with my thaw, I knew that you and me were going to be close. It was something in your eyes that made me feel safe. It was everything about you.

You were always there for me. You saw beneath my Captain America, and helped me rediscover Steve Rogers. When I was with you I knew I didn't have to pretend. You saw me for who I really was, and words cannot express how much that helped me. I want you here now, I really do. I want to hold you and thank you for everything you have ever done for me, but some things have to stay dreams.

This is a war now; a war that I so foolishly started.

I was so caught up in myself, that I didn't stop to think who else would be affected by my actions. When I saw Bucky again, my mind shut down. I saw the slightest chance of having back the one thing from my own time and jumped at it guns blazing. The truth is I don't belong here; I never did. There are times when I wish I had died in the damn plane crash. I'm a man out of time, a man without a home.

I thought I could build my life again, I could start over, but I was wrong. Maybe I'm not meant to have a family like the Avengers. I never belonged with any of them. I was the broken down old man waiting to die. I felt so out of place, everything I had ever known was gone. I saw the people I lived growing old and wondered why I hadn't.

It wasn't fair.

I had lived a life, I had my time. I didn't understand why I had been allowed to continue living, because I didn't want to be alive. It was too hard waking up every day not knowing where I fit, knowing that I never would fit.

Then you happened.

You came into my life and changed everything. I had someone who saw me as Steve; not Captain America. You were my saving grace, Y/n. You picked me up and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. I lived for those nights with you, telling stories, hearing you laugh. It was what kept me going.

Then Bucky happened. He had come back and I didn't know how to handle it. I knew how it felt to be out of place, to not have a clue as to who you were supposed to be. I didn't want Buck to have to live with that pain alone. He has been thru so much more than I ever have. He has suffered in unimaginable ways. I knew he didn't have anyone to help him, like I had you, so I tried to be that for him. I wanted to show him it was going to be alright, and I didn't even notice that by doing so I was pushing you away.

The one person who had made an effort to meet me where I was at. The one person that I needed more than anything at the end of the day. You were my world. I don't know how to say this without sounding like a child. I wish there was a better way to tell you how I feel. I wish you were right here with me so I could try to explain without the hardships of writing.

Y/n, I love you."

Tony froze. His eyes reread the last bit a few times before he looked away from the paper. A feeling arose in his gut and he realized that he probably shouldn't have read this. But, being Tony Stark he couldn't stop there. He took a deep breath before he continued to read.

"I know how that sounds. It sounds like some romantic confession, but I need you to know it's much more than that.  
You picked me up when I fell, and you never gave up on me. My love for you grows every day. A love that is much more then dances and dates, but a love that has been burning in my heart since the day I first saw you. I love that forces me to believe that you most likely don't feel the same, and I understand if you don't.

I hurt you, Y/n. I left so carelessly and I may never gain your trust back because of that. You and Bucky have always been there for me. I'm only just now realizing that I can't have you both, but I love you both equally. I hope you understand what I mean by this. I hope it doesn't sound shallow, or bitter. I hope you're doing alright.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there in person to explain, but I promise you we will meet again soon. Until then, take care of yourself. For me.

Goodbye.

~Steve"

The gears in Tony's head were whirring. He had seen the way Y/n and Steve were around each other, but then he had seen how romantic he and Sharon were. He was confused to say the least by the Captains words. He knew how Y/n felt about Steve, but he also knew how Steve felt about Sharon. One way or another someone was going to be left with a broken heart. Not being able to resist temptation any longer, Tony dove for his computer.

He pulled up the surveillance feed from the warehouse and pulled up everything he had missed. A cold sweat trickled down his forehead as he watched the footage in fast motion. His deep brown eyes watched the screen intently and he felt all the air escape his lungs as video of Y/n getting beat to hell was shown on screen.

He staggered backwards as he watched two of Steve's men beat her relentlessly. His breaths became short and shaky as he watched Y/n, his Y/n, lie on the ground. The last thing shown was Steve's friend rush to her side after she hit the floor; hard. Tony felt anger well up inside him as Clint fired an arrow at the camera and the screen went black.

"Sir..." F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice spoke as Tony tried to calm his racing heart. "The audio is very jumbled, but part of it reveals that no one in the ware house knew that it was miss L/n under the helmet. When Mr. Barton fired the arrow at her, a few protested. Sergeant Barnes went to her aid as Captain Rogers realized who it was."

Tony gritted his teeth, "So this was a mistake? Let me guess, you want me to stay here and let them take care of her?" He asked the AI and Vision who had been in the door way the whole time. "It would be wise, yes." Vision confirmed with a steady tone. Tony walked over to his desk and moved some things before reveling the button near the edge.

"I don't care if they thought she was the devil himself, she's been hurt and they are living in a fucking warehouse. They have no means of helping her. If she needs medical attention then I'm going." He pressed his finger to the button and, like magic; a suit of armor formed itself around his body. The helmet snapped down into place and he turned to face Vision.

"The question is, are you coming?"


	18. Never Mattered

The moonlight shone brightly into every crack in the brick walls. A dazzling light show was seen on the cement ground as shadows danced with the light. Y/n sat on a box while she rubbed the back of her head. Her eyes darted up every now and then to see Steve speaking with Sam; who looked less the pleased. He seemed to think that Y/n had been sent as a spy to recapture everyone. Steve didn't believe him.

Sam had a huge problem with her being here, and Y/n didn't judge him for that. She knew how foolish it was for her to barge in here dressed like

Captain America. The stupidity of the plan was only just now becoming clear to her, but she hated herself for letting it happen. Sam was right to be wary of her, she had done everything in her power to look like a threat.

She overheard part of the conversation, but missed others when her head would begin to throb. She winced and held the back of her neck as a sharp pain shot down her spine. He shaky sigh released itself from her lungs as she caught the attention of a different super solider.  
Bucky looked over at her as she wiped her lips free of blood, her arms shaking with every move. She looked more broken then any dame he had ever seen, but that was because she had put up a fight. She had tried to take on multiple men twice her size. It sounded like a small blonde punk he used to know.

No wonder Steve liked her.

He then turned to look up at Steve who was yelling at Sam still. Buck rolled his eyes and shook his head as his gaze went back to Y/n. She sat there in silence, her mind racing. She had finally made it here, she was with Steve, but somehow it felt wrong.

Part of her was expecting everything to go back to normal once she saw him again. As if once Steve was with her, once she had him close, the pain of everything that had happened would disappear. The fear, hurt, lies, and more would just blow away in the night breeze. She wanted that to be the case, but now that she was here she was realizing that nothing would ever be the same. This wasn't something you could just forget or push aside.

This was a war.

This was something that would always be there. It was never going away, and the lives of those involved would never be the same. She would never be the same. Her eyes looked to Steve as he crossed his arms and glared at Sam. She felt deep down that she had made a terrible decision coming here. She felt stupid for thinking that by showing up, she could make a difference. As if she was important at all.

It was that exact moment Y/n realized that she was nothing. 

She never was, so why would she matter now? She had never been a real Avenger. She had never belonged with any of them. Her place was not among gods and heroes; and now she understood. The war happened without her influence. She made no difference during the fighting, and she wasn't going to make a difference after it. She was never meant to walk in the footsteps of the greats. She was meant to fall behind. She looked over at the shield on Steve's back; the same one she had tried to hold. It was never meant to be in the hands of a meaningless girl trying to stay alive. It belonged in the hands of a hero, a warrior; and she was none of these.

She ripped the gloves off her hands and rubbed her eyes. Why was she really here? Why was she doing this? Was this to help Steve, or was it a last attempt to try and mean something? It didn't matter now, because she was clear.

Y/n L/n was not fit to ware the uniform she had on.

She was not fit to love Steve Rogers.

Her body language changed as she came to grips with the fact that she didn't matter. Her heart was getting in the way once more, and it was time to put an end to this.

She stood, grabbing everyone's attention, and balled her hands into fists.

"Sam, I know you think I'm going to give you up. I know that none of you trust me right now, but you need to listen."  
Steve looked at her confused, this was not how he thought she would react. She looked angry as she stood tall; she looked like a soldier. That was not the girl Steve had left behind. He soon realized how much he had hurt her. The sweet, kind, and caring girl he had known was now gone.

And it was because of him.

Everything he had told her, trusted her with, meant nothing because he had left her behind. His mind fled to the letter he had sent her, and wondered if he had over stepped his boundaries by saying what he had. He cursed himself as he sighed and looked back to Y/n.

"I didn't come here to sell you out, or to get you to come home. I came here with an escape plan."

Sam's eyes widened as he looked over at Steve.

"It was stupid of me to come barging in here dressed like something I'm not, and I see that now. But part of me felt like I could change this. Like I could reverse the damage that you all left in your wake." She sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn't going to let her heart dictate what she did anymore. She could almost feel it harden in her chest as she stood up tall.

"It was childish and naïve of me to think I could make a difference. I now know that no matter how much I want things to go back to normal, they never can. You all made a decision, one that I wasn't a part of, and that means I can't change it. Like the dumbass I am, I came running in thinking that if I could just talk to you..." Her voice cut off as her eyes landed on Steve. Everyone in the room knew who she was really talking to. Steve's blue eyes began to fill with tears as he listened to her harsh words; about herself.

"I thought....... I thought that if I could talk with you, we could try and find a way to fix this. To bring us all back together and just carry on like we did before this......this..... Civil War..." She looked down at the helmet in her bare hands and sighed. She looked back up at Steve and her heart broke.

"Don't look at me like that..." She pleaded. Steve drew back, confused by her request. He shook his head indicating that he didn't understand, and Y/n drew in a shaky breath.

"T'Challa is waiting for my call. When I signal him, hell arrive with enough men to help scatter your team, and to bring you and Bucky to Wakanda."  
There was mumbling from everyone present but Wanda stepped forwards. "You would risk your own life, to let us continue ours?" Y/n didn't respond.

"Even after all we have done?"

Y/n's head shot up and she smiled weakly. "You're my family. I would die for every one of you."

Steve smiled at her and she turned away. Bucky nodded at Y/n and she closed her eyes.

"Die for me.... Wow...." Came a voice from the back of the room. "I just met you, and tried to kill you, and now you said I'm your family? I mean wow. This...This is great. I don't think I've ever felt more loved right now." Scott smiled as he placed a hand over his heart. Y/n smiled at him but furrowed her brow.

"Who.....Who are you again?" She asked sweetly.

Sam laughed and some others snickered as Y/n looked at the man confused.

"I'm Scott Lang....Antma- Oh never mind..." He sighed shaking his head and walking away.


	19. Coming to a Close

"Sir, it think it's safe to assume that Ms. L/n-"

"FRIDAY, please don't try and get me to turn around....Not now....I'm to close..." Tony soared thru the cold New York City air as he scanned the area for Y/n location. The cheeky bastard had deleted all the files on the warehouses location. Every time Tony tried to pinpoint where she was on his computers, or thru the cameras, the system would shut down. He now regretted letting Y/n sit and watch him when he would fix the main frames.

Vision had decided to stay back. He said that he had already caused enough pain in this war, and he would not let his own carelessness hurt Y/n. Tony fought with him for a moment or two, but decided to leave him behind. He was done trying to make people do what they didn't want to. He learned that the hard way with Steve.

One thing was certain; the warehouse was in the city, or close to it. It would take him a little while but he knew he would find Y/n eventually. He would stay out all night if he had to. He was not going home unless Y/n was by his side. He had lost to many people due to his carelessness, he wasn't about to add Y/n to that list.

~

"But why?"

Steve questioned as he approached Y/n. She hung her head as he walked over to her. Her heart was aching and she wanted so desperately for all this to end. The room was silent, everyone awaiting her answer. Her mind was telling her to get out, to leave this place and have T'Challa take care of the rest. But her heart was screaming for Steve. It wanted to see him smile at her, it wanted to feel his arms encase her in a tight hug. Her heart was telling her to tell Steve that she loved him.

It sat heavy in her chest as the rest of the group began gathering things up. They had been told to pack their bags, because they would be leaving soon. Everyone had done as they were told; everyone but Steve. His mind was racing. He didn't know why Y/n was acting this way. She had always been so open, so lighthearted, but now she stood guarding something and her heart was weighing her down. Steve could see it in her eyes. The same look his eyes held for so many years. That glassed over, half alive look that he knew all too well. His heart screamed for him to hold her, to make things right. He knew deep down that Y/n had that look in her eyes because of him. This was his doing, it was his fault. He looked at her for a moment or two and saw something there he hadn't noticed before.

How truly beautiful she was.

Sure she had pleasant features and a dazzling smile, but none of that mattered. He knew deep down, under all the pain that filled her, she was the most beautiful person he had ever known. The way she spoke, the smell of her hair, the way her nose wrinkled when she was thinking and more little things like that were what he found truly beautiful. He felt like a fool for not seeing it sooner. He wasn't very good at knowing his own feelings. Or other peoples.

"Y/n...." He breathed 

She looked up at the blonde with tear stained cheeks. She looked into those deep blue eyes and got butterflies in her stomach. He had always been there, he always would. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She loved him more than anything on this planet. Her heart was bleeding for him, but she froze when she remembered who Steve had to go home to.

Sharon.

The blonde woman's image appeared in her mind as she stared blankly at Steve's face. She was perfect. Smooth blonde hair, perfect body, clear blue eyes, and to top it all off she was a Carter. How the hell was Y/n supposed to compete with that? She knew that Steve had feeling for Sharon, and she was okay with that. She wanted nothing more than for Steve to be happy.  
But at the same time she wanted to be happy too, and she couldn't see herself being happy without Steve.

"I'm going away..." She rasped as she faked a smile.  
Steve froze, his heart snapped in two. The look on her face was killing him, and he did nothing to stop it. His brow furrowed as he exhaled, a look of confusion on his face.

She took a deep breath, "I can't go back to the compound." She sighed, "Now that I've been in contact with you, if I try and go home they could have me arrested. So I'm going away...." Steve walked up to her and took her hands in his. The size difference melted his heart. Her soft delicate hands felt perfect inside of his large gruff ones.

"Come with me..." He whispered. She looked up at him in shock. She shook her head softly as she maintained eye contact. "Yes, we can go to Wakanda together. If you come with me I can protect you. I can protect both of you." His eyes looked back at Bucky and then to Y/n. She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled. Steve felt his heart stop when she touched his skin.

"But who will protect you?"

~

Tony hovered above the city, a look of frustration on his face. His armored head turned in every direction, scanning every inch of the city. He felt angry tears well up in his eyes as he looked frantically for Y/n's location. Defeat was beginning to consume him as his heart sunk lower and lower. His breaths became shaky as he began to accept the fact that Y/n might be gone.  
He felt like such an idiot for letting this happen. It was a foolish mistake to let Y/n go and question criminals alone. His froze when he realized what had just crossed his mind.

Criminals?

Is that what they had become? They were no longer family, just common criminals? The thought alone was enough to make him cry, but he took a deep breath and sorted his thoughts. He needed to think like Steve. If he was a 97-year-old super solider from Brooklyn, where would he hide?  
He closed his eyes and thought long and hard. His mind passed thru every memory he had of Steve in hopes of finding something. Then it dawned on him.

Brooklyn......

His heart picked up pace as he turned his head towards the city. "FRIDAY, scan the Brooklyn area for Y/n tracker...." He spoke in a rushed tone as images began to appear on the screen before his eyes. "He wouldn't actually run back to his home town would he?" Tony asked himself, "He's not that stupid..."  
An image of a broken down warehouse appeared on screen as FRIDAY began to speak. "Sir, her tracking beacon turned up here. It's faint, but still there." Tony shook his head and sighed, "Son of a bitch... FRIDAY set flight course for that location, it's time to bring her home..."

~

"But who will protect you?"

Those words were swimming thru his ears. Steve couldn't answer. He didn't know how. When he became Captain America he felt as though he out grew the need for protection. He was so used to protecting other people he hardly ever stopped to think about his own safety. This was yet another reason he had grown to love Y/n. She was always looking out for him, no matter what.

He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch earning a small gasp from Y/n. if she didn't know any better, she would think that Steve like her touch. But he couldn't.... Could he?

The thought was cut short when something in her belt began beeping. Steve's eyes flew open when the sound reached his ears. The rest of the team soon gathered around a frazzled Y/n as she pulled the small device from her belt pocket. The screen lit up with an alert in bright red letters. Y/n's heart dropped to her stomach as she stared at the warning. "No....." She breathed as she clutched the devise in her hands.

"What is it?" Bucky asked as he walked up behind Steve. Y/n looked up frantically, "T-Tony..." She stuttered. Sam grabbed the screen from her with a growl and Y/n looked over at him as he held it up for all to see.

"If you're not a spy....." Sam began, turning to look at Steve. "Then why is Tony in route to your location?"

She swallowed hard as she looked to Steve. His face fell as he looked over at Y/n. "You lied to me....." He whispered.

Y/n shook as she watched Steve's expression turn dark.


	20. Goodbye

"Steve please, you have to believe me!" Y/n yelled as she watched him turn away. "He promised me he wouldn't interfere! This wasn't my doing!"

Steve began to walk away, his shield the only thing facing Y/n at this point. Panic was on everyone's faces as they all prepared to leave. None of them knew where they would go, but they couldn't stay here. Y/n grabbed the device off the ground and sent the OK to T'Challa before running after Steve.

She grabbed his arm and he spun around before ripping his arm free of her grasp. She drew back when she saw the look on his face; it was of pure anger. She had never seen him so mad before, and it was killing her to see him like this. His once happy blue eyes were gray and cold as they filled with tears. They remained her to much of the eyes she had seen in the dream when he died in her arms.

She wanted to scream, to just run away until everything stopped. Till all of this blew over and the pain disappeared.

"I believed you Y/n." He spat, "And you played me!" He gritted his teeth as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Bucky walked up behind Steve and stopped him from walking away. Bucky was glaring at Steve and refusing to let him go unless he fixed things with Y/n.

"No. I would never..... Steve, how could I?...... I ran scramblers, shut down his system..... I made sure that he wouldn't be able to find me...... find you...."

Steve froze when he heard the raw emotion in her voice. He looked back at her as she held her arm and looked at the ground. This was becoming too much for him. It was crippling to think how the actions of one man, could leave all this pain behind. Out of all the villains the Avengers had fought, all the gods, aliens, Nazi's, Zemo was the only one to ever win. 

He hadn't failed his mission. 

He made sure the Avengers crumbled from the inside out, and there was no saving them now.

"It's funny...." Y/n sighed. She had grabbed Steve's attention by her strange statement. 

"Everything I did....... Everything I ever did...... Was for you....." Steve furrowed his brow as everyone else stopped to listen.

"I fought for you. 

I lived for you. 

I'm dying...... for you....." 

She looked up as a gust of wind blew her hair in front of her face. It danced around her almost glowing eyes as tears fell silently. "I set this all up. Planned every moment, to the letter...... Made sure you all would make a clean escape...... Took care of Sharon..... All for you, Steve....."

Steve felt all the air he had leave his lungs when Sharon's name was spoken. He had almost forgotten about her. But what killed him was the way Y/n said her name. It was almost like it pained her to let it slip past her lips. He watched as Y/n's eyes looked up at him, capturing him in there grace and beauty. 

"She's safe. And she's going to wait for you to come home....." Steve didn't understand what Y/n was doing.

"She loves you Steve. And-...... And I know you love her......"

The super soldier's heart broke. Is that why Y/n was leaving? Is that why she had come to say goodbye? Was all of this because of one girl whom he had rushed into liking? He remembered the kiss he shared with Sharon before the airport battle. He thought about how hollow it felt, and he knew why. 

He wanted so badly to be with Peggy. To have her with him like she had been back in the 40s. But she was really gone, and nothing was going to bring her back. When he saw Sharon standing there looking at him with awaiting eyes, he did something so entirely stupid.

He tried to fill the pain of missing Peggy with her niece of all people, and he felt like such an ass for doing so. It wasn't fair for either of them. And now here he stood, face to face with the one girl he should have been with all along. Y/n was everything to him. She was his light; his world and he had pushed her away because he didn't know how to handle his grief.

Sharon was always going to keep a special place in his heart, but Y/n was who he wanted.

Sam grabbed Steve's arm and told him that they needed to go. Steve wanted to stay, to let Y/n know how he felt. But if Tony found them here everything would be over. He watched as Y/n stood there silent.

It was time.

"The truth is... I don't know why I'm still fighting..... But if it means that you can be happy...... then I'll never stop....."

The sound of roaring engines was heard as T'Challa's men came running in. They all went running outside to find multiple ships parked and ready to take off.

The Black Panther himself appeared and helped everyone get to their proper ship. Steve felt his hair and jacket get whipped around as the jet's engines stirred. He watched as his team was taken care of but then looked back to Y/n. She was standing alone, watching everyone leave her; just like before.

Bucky grabbed Steve's arm and tugged him in the direction of The Kings ship. "Tony's nearly here. We need to go."

Steve's eyes went back to Y/n as she stood alone in the moonlight. Dust and dead leaves were flying all around her as her hair was blown by the wind. He was about to leave her again. He wanted to rip free and to take her with him. He didn't want her to be left by herself again. It wouldn't be fair. T'Challa approached both Steve and Bucky before looking over at Y/n. "She will be fine Captain. But we need to leave." Steve shook his head as he locked eyes with Y/n.

She was smiling.

"Y/n!" He yelled, "I'm sorry! Please! Come with me!" Bucky grabbed Steve and dragged him along as T'Challa alerted his men to begin take off. Steve was struggling to break free of both Bucky's and the King's grasp. 

"NO! Y/N!" He watched as she brushed her hair free from her tear filled eyes and nodded at the King. He returned the favor and signaled to take off. Steve felt the metal of the hanger door under his feet as he was pulled farther and farther away from Y/n. She smiled one last time at him as her lips parted.

"I love you......."

Those words ripped thru Steve like a thousand bullets. All sound disappeared as he was dragged to the ships entrance by Bucky. He watched as T'Challa walked in with them and the hanger doors closed. He ran to the window and watched as Y/n looked up at the ship. Within a split second they were in the air and Y/n was far from Steve's grasp. He fell to the floor with a clang and Bucky rushed to his side. He looked up at him with deep blue eyes and let a sob escape his lips. She had said it.

She loved him.

And he had left her.

Again...

Tony landed and stepped free of his armor when a familiar figure reached his eyes. She was standing alone in the midst of disturbed dust and grass, her hair a mess. Tony ran to her and stopped when he heard her quite sobs. He stood still behind her and let her get it out as the moon shone brightly past a cloud.

Her eyes were on the star lit sky as cold and empty tears streamed down her face. That was the last time. It was her last chance, and she took it. He now knew.

And he still left....

She was alone.....

She felt her heart wither away as she closed her eyes, knowing she would never see Steve.......

ever again.......................


	21. Three Months Later

"And in other news, the former American hero Steven Grant Rogers is still at large. He hasn't been seen since a devastating fight that took place only three months-"

The television was switched off as the room fell silent. Y/n could see her own reflection in the blackness of the screen as she sat on her couch. The city lights illuminated her apartment as she sat motionless on the sofa. The sound of ruffling fabric was heard as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She rested her head upon her legs as she took in a deep breath. The cold and dark night air was still all around her as the sound of her breathing filled the room.

Lights flashed on the walls as car headlights roamed past her window. The sound of the city trickled in thru a cracked window near her kitchen as her eyes scanned the lifeless room. Water droplets on the widows made shadow dots on her pale walls as the smell of freshly fallen rain filled her nose. She tried to shake the feeling in her chest. Emptiness. It ate away at her almost every day, and she was certain that it was going to win.

Picture frames decorated the walls of her home hiding the cracks in the paint. Pictures of old memories, old moments that had all but faded away. Things she would rather forget. Smiles that she would never see again, laughs that she would never hear. Pain that she could never escape. Memories of a once close super solider that made her want to scream.

She looked to the framed picture sitting next to her television and felt tears prick her eyes. It was from the conference room at the compound; an old "I want you to buy War Bonds" poster from the 40s. Steve was present on the poster in faded red, white, and blue with his finger pointing at whomever was looking. The smug smile on his face reminded her of his corny jokes, and his goofy attitude. Two things she needed most right now.

Three months.

It had been three months since everything went to shit.

Three months that the Accords had been put into action.

Three months of sitting and doing nothing, because she wasn't registered.

Three long months of trying to get used to her new life.

Y/n had hardly slept in those months, and tonight was no different. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, ignoring her bodies screams for sleep. With a sad huff, Y/n climbed off the couch and made her way to the window. She rested her forehead against the glass and watched as her breath created fog on the surface.

She laughed dryly as she drew a small Captain America shield within the fogged glass. Her expression changed from a small smile to a blank slate as she wiped the drawing away. Her eyes refocused on the life outside her window as she tried to quite her mind. It was extremely nice of Tony to give her the money to run and hide from the government, but she hated being this alone. The apartment was nice, but it seemed only half alive; much like her. She walked over to her desk and picked up the letter that Steve had sent her. Tony had given it to her before she ran.

She read it almost every night. The words being one of the only pieces of him she had left. That and his shield.... Tony had said it went missing along with Steve, but in reality he had allowed Y/n to leave with it. She kept it hidden in her closet, far from preying eyes, and far from her heart. He had left. It was done. He was gone. There was no need to keep the shield out and about as a painful reminder.

The sounds of the city beckoned her to leave her warm apartment and to wander the streets for yet another sleepless night. She looked out the window at all the lights that filled the streets. Was this really how it was going to for the rest of her life? Never sleeping, having that constant pain eat away at her? Was he life going to be this living hell form here on out?

She knew she was never going to find answers sitting around and staring at pictures and empty words. She sighed and turned to go to her room. She froze when she saw the letter sitting on the table, and with a roll of her eyes she picked it up and closed her bedroom door.

~~~~

Y/n walked the streets alone. Her face covered by a hood as she walked in a crowd of a million people. Her hands were deep in her pockets as she crossed street after street. TV screens blared out news and advertisements, cars zoomed past, and people were shouting. To any normal person this would be labeled as chaos, but to Y/n; this was peaceful. She felt wind blow past her and send a shiver down her spine as she kept walking.

Store fronts that she passed held "I support the Accords" signs in the windows along with pictures of Iron Man, War Machine, and Vision. Y/n chuckled when she realized how few of her friends actually stuck with this Accord agreement. Most of them disappeared when T'Challa's men took them away, but a few of them were still unaccounted for. No one knew what happened to Natasha. After a disagreement with Tony she vanished.

Y/n thought about Nat for a moment or two. She really did miss the red head. Natasha had always been a good friend to her, and Y/n loved her dearly. And now she was gone too. Her mind then wondered to Thor, whom she hadn't seen in quite some time. She wondered if he was with Heimdall watching all of this happen. And if he did see everything happen, why didn't he step in? Why didn't he say something? Why did he leave too?

Y/n slowly began to realize how broken the Avengers really were. They were no longer a family like before.

They were strangers.

She was pulled free of her thoughts when two kids ran past her. They were laughing and high-fiving each other as a cop began to pursue them. Y/n watched from under her hood as they turned the corner and went out of sight. She then walked in the direction of where the kids came from. Her sneakers scraped against the wet and loose gravel on the walkway as she turned another corner. What she saw filled her with rage

A few years back a not-so-famous street artist painted a huge painting of Captain America on the side of a broken down building. It was right after the Avengers first formed in 2012. When the public found out that the 40s superhero was back on the streets excitement was at an all time high. The people of America wanted to show the war hero their love in every way possible. This painting was one of those kind gestures to the Captain.

But now......

Those boys had taken red spray-paint and drew a scull over the image of Steve's face. A red "X" was over his shield and the word "TRAITOR" was written in all caps at his feet. Around the once beautiful painting were various posters of hate towards Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. People had actually taken the time to make posters depicting hate to put around a tribute to an America hero. The wall was decorated with fliers and pages and words that cut Y/n so deep, she swore she could feel psychical pain.

Her hood dropped as she approached the wet wall, the lights of the city casting beautiful shadows on her face. Her lips parted as she gasped quietly and her eyes began to gloss over. A shaky hand was placed over one of the letters as the wet paint dripped onto her s/c skin. Her expression darkened as she ripped the posters down, handfuls at a time. She let herself sob as she attacked the pages of hate and disrespect.

Red paint coated her hands like blood as she ripped the hate to pieces. She slammed her fist against the wall as she fell to her knees. This wasn't fair. No one deserved this kind of rejection. Especially Steve. The people he fought for, the lives he saved, and the world he loved was now treating him like a monster. People were spitting venomous words about him amongst each other, and somehow enjoying it. And the small percent that disagreed with the hate, were to cowardly to stand up and fight for the man who had fought for them.

Y/n rested her forehead against the wall and let a few more tears fall as she tried to calm down. "Why?" She rasped to herself as she wiped her eyes. Sleep was calling her and she wanted nothing more than to give in, but she couldn't.

"It's sick, right?"

Y/n's head shot up when she heard the voice from behind her. She looked to the source and was confused to see a teenage boy standing next to her. With a sigh Y/n threw he hood up and stood. It was time to go home.

"You- you knew him, right?" The kid asked as Y/n turned. 

She laughed and looked over her shoulder at the boy. "Yeah..... I knew Steve...." She rasped. The kid smiled a sad smile as he picked up one of the posters Y/n had torn down. "I met him once...." The boy spoke, regret laced in his voice. Y/n noticed this and turned back to face him. He held up a poster with Steve's face and printed across it was the word "Dangerous". "I called him this..." He choked. 

Y/n furrowed her brow as she approached the now sitting boy. He wiped his nose and looked up at her. "But, I was.....I was so wrong...." Y/n felt her heart ache for this kid. She didn't know how he knew Steve, or why he would call him dangerous, but she knew he felt torn up over it. She rested her head on the wall and sighed before lowering her hood.

"I'm F/n L/n....." She whispered as she smiled at the teen.

He smiled back at her and shook her hand.

"Peter Parker....." 

"


	22. Letting Go

The sound of Y/n's front door unlocking was heard as the h/c came walking inside. With a huff she dropped her keys down on the entry table and re locked the door. A small gasp escaped her lips when she saw the red still stained on her hands. She winced at the thought of how much it looked like blood. She felt a sick feeling arise in her stomach as she made her way to her bathroom. Ina matter of moments she had stripped down to her bra and underwear as she readied the shower. The water hit the shower floor with such force as the sound filled her bathroom. She stepped in front of the mirror and looked at her bruise ridden body.

You could see the outline of a few of her ribs, and there were scars from the stitch job she had given herself. The wounds from her encounter with Steve's team had been inflicted so harshly that some of them had yet to heal. As she looked over her broken form something was seen in the corner of her eye. She furrowed her brow as she focused her gaze on the bloodied blue suit hanging on the wall behind her. The silver star on the chest had a few brownish stains from her busted lip, and the fabric near the torso was torn.

She felt the pain in her heart and all over her body rise anew as she stared at the suit. She took a step towards it, her hair falling in her face and her skin glossing over from the steam of her shower. The artificial light of her light fixtures made the room seem creepier then it was. Steam began to fog the mirror as Y/n ran a hand over the rough blue fabric. Her pale skin contrasted with the suit in an intoxicating way. The blue of her visible veins matched the fabric, and her pale skin matched the white tile walls.

Y/n felt her body relax as she held the suit in her hands. To think, Steve had worn it at one point. She had almost completely forgotten about the uniform until now. She had expected to feel some form of hate towards it, seeing that it too was a reminder of what she lost, but no hate came. She stood in the center of her bathroom, steam rising all around her, feeling at peace for the first time in months. With a sigh she hung the suit back up and made her way to the shower, her body needing the relaxation that came with the hot water.

~~~

Her bedroom sat vacant as the sounds of her getting ready in the bathroom were heard. The door to the bathroom sat ajar and the yellow light covered her room in ghostly shadows. She swung the door completely open as steam entered her sleeping space along with more light. She was now in her pajamas and her hair was wet around her face. Her eyes caught glimpse of a shimmer in her closet and she let a small smile curl her lips as she approached the wooden doors. Once a few boxes were moved she was able to pull the shield free from its hiding place.

She held the lightweight weapon in her hands as she made her way over to her bed.

"I don't think he would want any of us to stop fighting the good fight. I think that if he was still here right now, he would be urging us to push forwards. To move on. I mean come on, he Captain America. He fights for what right no matter what. He stands up for what he believes in. And we should too...."

Those words Peter had spoken were now giving Y/n a new hope. A Hope that maybe, one day, life could carry on. It was clear to her now. Sitting and doing nothing was not what Steve would want. She was stronger than that; Steve had made her stronger than that.

She ran her fingers across the smooth paint of the shield and smiled as tears fell.

"It's time I let you go......" She whispered to herself as tears ran down the surface of the shield.

Y/n closed her eyes and hugged the shield close. She was ready now. She was safe, and so was Steve. She smiled as she cried knowing that everything was going to be alright.

"Goodnight Steve..........."


	23. The End

"My dearest Steven,

I hope by the time you read this letter you will have recovered from your wounds, and are adapting to life in Wakanda. I also hope Bucky is doing well; he's been thru a lot and deserves the peace he finds when he's with you.

I now that a lot has happened and you need time to heal. I know that you have lost a lot, and it feels like you continue to lose more as time passes. But you need to understand that no matter what, you will never lose me. I will always be right here when you need me Steve. I'm only one phone call away. If you ever need me all you have to do is call.

Life back home is strange, but I'm getting by. The world is trying to make sense of everything that has happened, and I guess I am too. So much changed in such a short amount of time, and it's going to take a lot of getting used to, but it won't be impossible. You taught me that. You showed me every day what it means to be strong.

In every aspect of the word.

You have taught me so many things, and you have changed me in ways that you will never know. 

It's because of you Steve that I am the woman I am today. I watched you solider on for so long. I watched you keep your chin up and keep living after everything you had lost. You never gave up, and you never gave in. You are my inspiration, and you are what keeps me going. When all else fails, and it feels like the world is against me, I know that I will always have you to turn to. You are my rock, Steve. I love you more then I could ever put into words, but I'm hoping that you understand what I'm trying to say in the letter.

I want you to know how much you mean to me. To me you are so much more than just Captain America, you're the reason I'm that I'm still fighting. You give me hope to keep fight for what's right. You have shown me what it means to be a true hero. In everything you have done, you have given me reason to believe in something greater them myself. You showed me the light when all I saw was darkness. You picked me up when I fell. You always made sure I knew how much I was loved. And you stopped at nothing to make sure I was happy. That everyone around you was happy.

You never lost hope.

Never.

What I said the night you left I still mean. I do love you Steve, more than anything in this life. You are my world; my cornerstone. Sometimes I wish that none of this would have ever happened. I wish that you were still right here next to me so I could hold you and show you how much I love you, but sometimes wishes have to stay wishes. We can't change was has happened, there is no going back to the way it used to be, but here's what I've come to realize.

Maybe it shouldn't.

Maybe it's for the best that this all happened. If it didn't, we would have known who our real friends are. We would still be living in the dark, and that is not the way to live. We may have lost a lot, but now we can see for miles. We can see past our own mistakes and see the life we were always mean to live.

The good life.

I miss you more then I can say. I miss having you beside me in all I do. And the truth is; I'm broken. Not having you here when I need you most is the most devastating thing I have ever lived thru. But I know that this is how it has to be. We were meant to love each other from afar. I've come to accept the fact that unless things settle, I may never see you again. And sure it breaks my heart, but I know that you are safe, and that is more important to me than anything.

I will wait for the day when I see you again, but until that day comes I will continue to fight.

For you.

Goodbye for now Steven. Until we meet again.

~Y/n"

A tear fell from the super soldier's eye as he read the last few words of the letter. A smile curled his lips as he took a deep breath, letting the tears flow. He looked out into the vast jungle beyond the window. He pressed the letter to his chest as he wiped his eyes. He hoped that Y/n could somehow hear him as he walked up to the glass.

"Until we meet again, Y/n........."

The End


End file.
